In Season Mom

MEET MOM SHERYL TAYLOR

By March 20, 2017 Uncategorized
Name:  Sheryl Taylor

Age when you gave birth: 45 (just 5 days before 46th birthday)

State/Country of residence:  Georgia

Child’s name and age: Daughter, Charlize Taylor will be 3 years old in April.

Current or former profession(s):  Realtor, Bank Treasury Officer, currently a stay-at-home mom and blogger at happilyeverafterthesedays.com

PREGNANCY

How long were you trying to get pregnant?

We started when I was 42 and got pregnant within 3 months, but lost the pregnancy at 6 weeks in a miscarriage.  I had been using progesterone cream, but stopped when I read on the label to discontinue use if pregnant.  I realized after the fact, the immediate lowering of progesterone may have contributed to the miscarriage. Sadly, I was not educated about the matter before my miscarriage.  Then we tried naturally for 3 years before going to a fertility doctor.  He advised IVF and we got pregnant with the first transfer, so the total number of years of trying was about 3 1/2 years.

What did you do or not do to increase your chances of getting pregnant after 35?

Everything I read recommended healthy eating, exercise and to try to lose weight, which I did.  I also turned to herbs, specific foods and supplements that are known to increase the chances of conception such as wheatgrass, progesterone cream, and lots of avocado.  I also received acupuncture, which made me feel great.

My acupuncturist is actually who finally convinced me to visit a fertility clinic.  She was not pushy about it. Her supportive and calm nature is what helped me to be open to what they had to say.  She also shared her faith with me in the same non-aggressive manner and this helped me to have faith as well.

Even after we decided to use a fertility doctor for IVF treatment, I continued to see the acupuncturist.  She did a treatment right after my IVF transfer.  I really think it contributed to our conception at the first IVF treatment.  I’ve read many stories of women who tried multiple IVF treatments before conceiving or who never conceived from the treatments at all.

SUPPORT

Medical Community  

How supportive were your doctors during your pregnancy?  

During my first pregnancy that ended in miscarriage, I didn’t feel the first doctor was supportive.  She was a young doctor who took over my old OB/GYN’s practice when he retired.  We had not know each other long when I told her about our plans to get pregnant at 42.  She highly discouraged it at my “advanced maternal age”.  She did send me to a high risk doctor for a consultation, where he tried to scare me with very negative statistics about older mothers and birth defects.

Did you change doctors or would like to have changed doctors? Why or why not?

After the miscarriage, I researched OB/GYNs in my area and found one who stated in her bio that she worked with mothers of advanced maternal age. In fact, she had her daughter when she was over 40.  She was very supportive during our initial consultion as well as through out my pregnancy.  However, she was strict with me and always very honest, even if I didn’t want to hear what she had to say.  I appreciated her compassion, straightforwardness and professionalism.  It greatly contributed to us finally having a healthy, happy child.

Family and Friends

What was the reaction of friends and family when you told them about your pregnancy?

We told a few family members and friends when we decided to try IVF as a way to get pregnant.  Their reactions were a mix of being concerned, some supportiveness and some not-so-supportiveness.

My youngest stepdaughter lived with us at the time. I told her about her father and my plans to try to conceive.  The progesterone shots made me very emotional and I thought she might need to know in order to understand my crankiness.  She shared the information with her older sister who lived with their mom in another state.  She wrote her dad a letter expressing her feelings and how he would be a grandfather in a few years.  However, she wasn’t the only family member or friend who shared that they felt we were too old to have a baby.

Once everyone saw that I made it through the pregnancy and delivery just fine, they only expressed support.  The older daughters love their little sister and she adores them as well.

Labor and Delivery

What do you remember most about the birth experience?

My doctor induced me a week early because my liver enzymes was a little high.  I also developed gestational diabetes during the 7th month of pregnancy.  My doctor put me on bed rest for the remainder of the pregnancy due to the high level of stress in my then-sales’ job.

I remember everything feeling so surreal.  After all of these years, I was going to have a baby!  I was going to have a baby.  My childhood dream was finally coming true!

There are no words to truly describe how I felt when they laid my beautiful baby girl on my chest.  I was finally a mom!

I AM MOM

What concerns you most about being a mom over 35 and how do you address these concerns?

My husband and I both have the same main concern that most all older parents have.  Will we be around long enough?  Will we be here for her well into her adulthood?

We both address any life concerns with praying, educating ourselves, and talking it through with each other as well as others who might be familiar with the situation.  We’ve not only worked on our child having a relationship with all of our family members, but also our extended family such as her God parents, other church friends and even our neighbors who have children.

We have a very detailed will written which outlines who will take care of our child if anything happens to us.  My husband and I try to eat healthy as well as get exercise individually and as a family.  Last, but not least, we teach our child about our faith, our values, and our love so she has a foundation to stand upon independently, if we are not around long enough.

What do you enjoy most about being an older mom?

I definitely enjoy being in a place financially that I can stay at home with our daughter.  If I had her in my younger years, I wouldn’t be in a position to stay home with her.  Also, even if I still worked,  I would still appreciate being a mom more than when I was younger.  I don’t sweat the small stuff as much as I did when I was younger.  I’ve learned if I need to leave dirty dishes in the sink so I can play with our daughter, the dishes will still be there in the morning.

How has becoming a mom changed you?

I am no longer a perfectionist when it comes to having a spotless house.  As I mentioned earlier, I’ve learned not to stress as much about daily tasks.

I’ve also learned not to be as judgmental of others.  Before I was a mom, I didn’t understand why my friends who were moms couldn’t “get everything done” for the day.  I didn’t think about that a mom has to deal with unscheduled things like a toddler tantrum, a scraped knee, or spilled juice on the floor you just mopped.

What advice do you have for women considering motherhood after 35? 

My personal experience of having a child after 35 wasn’t really a choice.  Or maybe it was?  I married at 20 years old the first time and then divorced him when I turned 33.  I dated, but didn’t choose to remarry until a few months after my 40th birthday.

I just didn’t feel it would be in a child’s best interest to bring them into the life I could offer until I married my husband.  I was able to see the father he already was to his older two daughters.  I finally felt comfortable having a child with someone.

My advice would be, if you want children and are in the right situation, go ahead and have them while you are younger.  If you find yourself already 35 or older and want children, make it happen.  Everyone’s journey to parenthood is different.  Be open-minded.

I’ve known friends over 35 who only wanted to conceive under their own terms.  I’ve also know friends who have been open-minded enough to try herbs, acupuncture, and many other things that helped them to conceive naturally, in time.

Finally, I’ve also known friends who were open to medical help such as IUI or IVF (which we did and were successful).  Then, there are other friends who grew their family through adoption, sometimes adopting an infant, older child or sibling group.  Regardless of which path they chose, the ones who were open minded became parents, even if it wasn’t how they originally planned.

Additional comments?

God Bless and lots of baby dust to you!

MEET FEATURED MOM JOAN

By February 21, 2017 Blog, Featured Moms

Name:  Joan

Age when you gave birth:  Less than a week from 39 years old when I gave birth to my son

State of residence:  Michigan

Current or former profession(s):  Blogger/Editor at Late Bloomer Moms

PREGNANCY 

How long were you trying to get pregnant?

About 2 years

What did you do or not do to increase your chances of getting pregnant after 35?

Progesterone, tried to eat healthy consistently and work out regularly.  I drove myself nuts with charting, temping, etc. but it was all helpful in that I learned a LOT more about the human body than I’d ever thought I would!

SUPPORT

Medical

How supportive were your doctors during your pregnancy?

They weren’t – I went to 3 different fertility specialists (one who had been my own GYN for over 10 years).

Did you change doctors or would like to have changed doctors?

I changed doctors because I was basically told – by all 3, including my regular GYN – that I would pretty much need “medical intervention” (i.e. IVF) in order to even get pregnant, let alone have a successful birth.  I felt like they were just trying to fill their pocketbooks.

Family and Friends

What was the reaction of friends and family when you told me about your pregnancy?

They were all thrilled – many of my friends prayed with me, so they knew this was a big blessing for us!

We had miscarried after trying for months to get pregnant. So when we got pregnant again “just” 4 months later (the week of Thanksgiving) as excited as we were, we didn’t say anything at first.  I told my mom on Christmas (at 8 weeks) only because I was already getting a bit of a belly.  My mom cried tears of joy  because I’m her baby and I was having a baby.  And then I got knowing glances from my co-workers, but we didn’t confirm suspicions of co-workers and friends until we were in the 2nd trimester (end of January).

LABOR AND DELIVERY

What do you remember most about the birth experience?

It was LONG.  I had every intention of having a natural birth if at all possible – we even hired a doula.  But at about my 35th week my blood pressure was getting dangerously high. I had to have weekly ultrasounds, and then I wound up having to have my son about 2 weeks early.  And he was NOT ready to come out.  I labored without drugs for about 21 hours  using a medicine ball, my doula massaging my back and helping me be as comfortable as possible when you’re in labor. Despite my best efforts, and as stubborn as I am, I finally just realized I needed a little “help.”  Then one of the residents broke my water and I knew I was on the clock then.  I wound up having a C-section.

I AM MOM!

What concerns you most about being a mom over 35 and how do you address these concerns?

Just having energy and prioritizing when I have a full-time career as well. I try to schedule everything and my weekends are for my family!

What do you enjoy most about being an older mom?

That I’m where I need to be.  For me, getting married later and being an “older” mom is perfect timing for me.  When I was younger, a friend of mine would lament about not being married or having kids yet when everyone else around us was. I said, “All on YOUR timetable.”    I am greatly enjoying the new kind of fun my son brings into my life.

How has becoming a mom changed you?

I honestly did not know if motherhood was for me.  But it’s the best kind of love there is in this world.  My husband and I know our son is truly a blessing, especially considering our challenges to have him.   I’m definitely more patient!

What advice do you have for women considering motherhood after 35?  

Have faith.  Have faith in what your body can do.  I was told I had blocked tubes and endometriosis and low progesterone, etc.  but I refused to believe I was already “too old” to have a baby naturally.  Also, educate yourself.  If I wasn’t stubborn, I would have just stopped at “well, we can’t have a baby unless we do IVF.”  I did research on my own, modified my and my husband’s diets, and that helped a lot!  Have a doctor/birthing team who has your best interests in mind!

Any additional comments?

Be flexible – know that things may not go according to plan.  Work with your birthing team to find what works for you, but know that you may need to be open-minded.

 

 

Study Says Children Born to Older Moms Smarter

By February 14, 2017 Uncategorized

According to a study published in the International Journal of Epidemiology, children born to older moms are likely to be smarter than those born to younger mothers. Today’s older mothers tend to be well educated, are less likely to smoke, and are established in professional occupations, characteristics older moms in the past didn’t necessarily possess (Source-newsmax health.com).

 

MEET MOM FRANCESCA KOTOMSKI

By January 23, 2017 Blog, Featured Home, Featured Moms, Uncategorized

 

Name: Francesca Kotomski

Ages when gave birth: 40 and 44

State of residence:  Massachusetts

Children’s names : Lucas and Matthew

Current profession:  Fitness instructor, personal trainer, instructor at career school http://www.francescakotomski.com/

PREGNANCY

How long were you trying to get pregnant?

 I was trying 4 years.

What did you do or not do to increase your chances of getting pregnant after 40? 

Slowed down, exercise, went BPA free bottles, meds and followed my cycle carefully.

SUPPORT 

The Medical Community

How supportive were your doctors during your pregnancy? 

My ob was not supportive of older moms.  I could tell and with the second one, I didn’t even see him until after the first trimester.  I thought he would tell me something bad. And when he had the chance, he did!   He was absolutely wrong!  I was so glad he didn’t deliver Matthew. A female doc in his practice delivered Matthew.

Did you change doctors or would like to have changed doctors? Why or why not?

I only changed doctors from the IVF people to a very healthy Catholic doctor who used natural fertility methods.  His methods are proven and it worked!  I changed to this doctor because he had a very healthy and pro-life way to deal with fertility issues.    After Matthew was born, I saw my non supportive ob/gyn once.  I switched for my gyn appointments to a regular doctor.

Family and Friends

What was the reaction of friends and family when you told me about your pregnancy? 

Family and friends were supportive; although my mother said she was scared and felt that I was very lucky to have healthy kids “at this age.”  She said that more than once.  But everyone was very happy.

LABOR AND DELIVERY

Did you take any childbirth classes? Why or why not? 

Yes, I took a class for the first baby.  Then after the first one, I realized that most of what I learned didn’t seem to apply!  Giving birth is fairly natural and the nurses coach you through.

What do you remember most about the birth experience?

The first one was induced, long and painful and I had epidural. The second was quick and painful but with no epidural because it was so quick.   What I remember most: pain and then happiness to see my baby.

I’M A MOM

fran with boys2

What concerns you most about being a mom over 35 and how do you address these concerns?  

The future is my concern, getting older,  slowly down naturally, as well as retirement as they enter college. Hopefully, I can give my children enough lively exciting experiences.

What do you enjoy most about being an older mom?

Feeling more settled in who I am, stronger in my will to do the right thing!  It’s good to know others who are in the same place.

How has becoming a mom changed you?

I appreciate the little things.  I appreciate when I get time alone and quiet time.   It’s slowed me down, but that’s good.

What advice do you have for women considering motherhood after 35?

Get into good, healthy shape.  You will need to be strong in will as you deal with others ideas of a younger mom vs older mom.  You also need to be physically able to handle the demands of an additional person who depends on you.

 Do you have any additional comments?

I like to surround myself with other moms and support groups to do play groups or library groups.  I work hard to attain a balance between professional life and time with my little guy, especially before he goes into school.  That’s a big struggle because I want more out of my professional life and I realize that time as a young child is short.  So, older moms will have that struggle as they are settled into their career.

I think it’s best for moms to be open to changing their hours or the way they do work.  I work a variety of hours and that helps with my balancing act.  Also, doing exercise at home through the home workouts saves me a lot of time. And, allows my children to participate in programs that are scheduled the same time as traditional gym classes.

InSeason Mom Cynthia would like to thank InSeason Mom Francesca for sharing her story and for being an inspiration to all of us. To learn more about Francesca’s fitness and personal training program, visit http://www.francescakotomski.com/

 

BE A FEATURED MOM OR SPONSOR HER STORY

By January 11, 2017 Featured Home, Featured Moms

 

 First time mom over 35 or over 40? Inspire others by sharing your story as a Featured Mom! Have a product or service you want to market to moms? Sponsor a Featured Mom article Email me inseasonmom@gmail.com for details.

 

Encouraging Ebook

By January 6, 2017 Getting Pregnant After 35 and 40, Popular Posts

 Trying to Conceive in Your 40s Coping Tips ebook

  • Quick read resource without all the depressing medical jargon or statistics
  • Over 30 practical spiritual, mental and physical coping tips that you can use now
  • Written by InSeason Mom Founder Cynthia, who conceived naturally and gave birth to two healthy babies at age 42 and 44
  • Many books offer suggestions on getting pregnant after 35 but this e-book provides encouragement while you waiting

Get it now at https://gumroad.com/l/hfaIs