In Season Mom

Emotional Health Tips For Your Pregnancy Over 35

By July 25, 2017 Featured Home, First-Time Expectant Mom Over 40, Popular Posts

Special thanks to this month’s blog post sponsor Heaven Sent Infant Wear-Infant Wear with a Spiritual Reflection. They’re offering a free pair of Cozy Feet Crib Shoes with every purchase of $15 or more until August 31, 2017.

If you’re a first time expectant mother over 35 or over 40, sometimes— finding emotional support for your pregnancy can be as be as challenging as finding an American teenager who doesn’t own a cell phone!

The first words out of your doctor’s mouth upon confirming your pregnancy may not be congratulations but may be monologue filled with negative statistics about pregnancy after 35 which show an increased risk of high blood pressure, diabetes, cesarean birth and chromosomal defects. Or your doctor may suggest a series of tests available to older expectant moms or ask if your pregnancy was planned.

Unfortunately, this insensitiveness for pregnancy after 35 is not limited to some in the medical community. You may be hit with a variety of comments saying you’re too old to give birth or that you should consider your age when your baby goes to first- grade, becomes a teenager, gets married and so forth.  These comments can come from well-meaning relatives to friends to strangers.

How do you handle so much negativity during a time when you are most vulnerable?

1-Realize Pregnancy Hormones Are At Work

The first tip is to remember your pregnant body is undergoing hormone changes which not only affect you physically, but emotionally as well.

Translation: Comments you wouldn’t have given a second thought during your pre-pregnancy state can make you sad or angry during pregnancy. This is true whether you are an expectant mom age 22 or age 42.

Choose your thoughts wisely. Like a gardener who pulls the weeds out of her flowerbed, pull the negative thoughts from your mind. Replace them through concentration on positive and uplifting thoughts.

2- Find Moms Who Have Been Through What You’re Going Through

Having a supportive friend, ideally one who is a first time mom over 35, you can talk to about your ups and downs will be invaluable during this time. There are also online group of expectant moms over 35 and over 40. If the online groups don’t fit your style, establish your own or join our InSeason Mom group on Facebook. If you don’t like any of these choices, email me and I’ll give you encouragement!

3- Remember Medical Studies based on Group Not Individual Results

Medical studies citing the risk factors for pregnant women over 35 and 40 are based on the results of midlife pregnant women when studied as a group. The studies are not based on your individual health history. The truth is any pregnant woman of any age may experience high blood pressure, diabetes, cesarean birth and chromosomal defects.

According to Dr. Glade B. Curtis, author of Your Pregnancy After 35,  today, many healthcare professionals gauge pregnancy risk by a pregnant woman health status not her age.

4- Follow Doctor’s Orders

Make every effort to follow the advice of your doctor which should include getting plenty of rest, eating healthy, refraining from smoking, drinking alcohol, and taking anything that is toxic to your body or your unborn child.

5- Embrace Mental and Spiritual Health

“People run their mouth” is one of my husband’s favorite sayings, which means everyone has an opinion. Opinions are not necessarily truth.

When well-meaning folks cite how old you will be when your baby enters first grade or goes to college, ask them how old you will be in the same length of time if you didn’t give birth. Hopefully, they’ll get the point. We grow older regardless if we pursue motherhood in our late 30s or 40s. Therefore, it’s important to make our lives count by pursuing our goals. Personally, I believe the adage, “Your life is a gift from God, what you do with it is your gift back to Him.”

Special thanks to blog post sponsor Heaven Sent Infant Wear-Infant Wear with a Spiritual Reflection. They’re offering a free pair of Cozy Feet Crib Shoes with every purchase of $15 or more until August 31, 2017.

Meet Tina Marie- 2 Babies After 40

By June 13, 2017 Blog, Featured Moms

Name: Tina Marie

Ages when you gave birth: 42 and 44

 State of residence: Arizona

Children:  Braylon, age 2 and Bryce- 3 months (Tina was pregnant with Bryce at the time of this interview.)

Current or former profession(s):  Actress, Events Manager, Nerium Consultant, Stay- At- Home Mommy

PREGNANCY

How long were you trying to get pregnant?

We weren’t trying either time. We were just enjoying life! We did not do any planning other than having a desire of our hearts.

 MEDICAL COMMUNITY

How supportive were your doctors during your pregnancy?

My doctor was very supportive, made me feel more comfortable and gave me hope when I was scared. This second time, I was shocked  when I found out I was pregnant.  I think the lady (doctor) seemed shocked as well!

What did you do to increase your chances of becoming pregnant a second time?

I never worked on increasing my chances except for prayer and taking prenatal pills after the first baby was born, while breastfeeding him.

Did you change doctors or would like to have changed doctors?

No, I kept the same one. I considered changing because my doctor was a part of a team and based on the day you deliver, my doctor may not have been available. The thought to switch occurred to me –a few times– just because I heard about another lady (doctor) who was so loving and I like that connection. Other than that, my doctor wanted me to have another baby right away. I laughed!

 FAMILY AND FRIENDS

What was the reaction of friends and family when you told them about your first and current pregnancy?

Everyone was elated and some shocked. I recently shared on Facebook how I was overwhelmed by all the love and support from both near and far. My husband was definitely surprised and took some time to digest having another baby. I shared the news by giving him an empty can of Prego sauce with our names, Reg and Tina, on the outside of the can. Inside of the can was the picture of my 8 weeks ultrasound!

 LABOR AND DELIVERY

BB-FeaturedTina

What do you remember most about the birth experience?

With my first birth experience, I remember going shopping in Target. My hubby was in car. I needed to use the restroom because of a surprised mucous plug breaking. I thought something was wrong. I called the doctor. Then, we (hubby and I) went on about our day with some relief. I fit in shopping at Sephora and a Pregnancy Photo Shoot!

My check-up was scheduled for the following morning. I was going to have to be induced or I needed to be dilated. I started crying and we went straight to the hospital. The rest is history except towards the end when I was challenged to start pushing. We prayed and the doctor advised me that “this next push had to be like an Olympic runner or we would have do alternative,” meaning a C- section.

I said to my husband and sisters, “Cheer me on guys!” My doctor said okay and brought the forceps team in. I was finished after that big strong push!

With my second birth experience, my doula was with my hubby Reggie and me. I believe having a doula made the experience even more joyful because Reggie was able to focus with me. My doula took pictures (of the birth).  She did things that I wasn’t able to do and see things I would not remember.  Reggie and my doula made my experience truly surreal and amazing.

I was checked in the hospital a week later (than my due date). I was in active labor for about 1 hour and 15 minutes. I was started on Pitocin when  I was at 4 cm. We had worship music playing.  We prayed as a team. My doula’s direction was so encouraging. The big surprise was when my contractions grew closer and closer, my doula told the nurse, without my knowing, that the doctor needed to come in. She told the nurse, “I do not want to have to deliver this baby.”

Even though the epidural was requested, the anesthesiologist was on his way but there was no turning back. I was unable to stop pushing. Our baby was ready.  I kept saying “where is the epidural.”

They said, “It’s showtime! He is coming out!”  At 12:54 PM, I gave a half a dozen pushes and our Lil Angel came out healthy and natural. Au natural! I couldn’t believe it! There was no way I thought I could endure this pain, but God knew.

We were blessed with a baby boy named Bryce, weighing  7.10 pounds and 21 inches.  For this I am truly grateful!

We stayed in the hospital a couple of days to recuperate and enjoy time alone before returning home. Hubby and big brother Braylon even stayed which made it one big slumber party and celebration of our 2nd little prince!

 I AM MOM

What concerns you most about being a mom over 35 and how do you address this concern? 

The most that concerns me is being there to support my children later in their years. I believe it’s important to take care of myself and stay in shape. I want to live long with a youthful and healthy body, mind, and soul for my children. Anything is possible just depends on how you feel!

What do you enjoy most about being an older mom?

I enjoy having more quality time to give my sons and living in a season where I am more mature. The quality time I have and the desire to raise another person is awesome.

How has becoming a mom changed you?

I definitely have a new compassion for children. Because of the responsibility God has given me to raise strong children with a passion for life, I am less selfish and I give unconditional love to my children that I can see grow up in His likeness.  I am more settled and desire to play more,too.

What advice do you have for women considering motherhood after 35?

IMG_3929Be available, stay healthy, and have a heart of compassion to live life to the fullest. We are as old as we feel! Don’t act your age in all ways, only use wisdom with a youthful attitude. Be present and communicate your needs clearly.

Never give up! Life is precious.  Eat well, pray, have a support group, and get involved with other like- minded moms. Never give up because life is precious as gold and silver.  (Special thanks to this month’s blog post sponsor Heaven Sent Infant Wear-Infant Wear With A Spiritual Reflection)

 

MEET SUSAN OF NEW JERSEY

By May 12, 2017 Blog, Featured Moms

Name: Susan

Age when you gave birth: 41

State of residence: New Jersey

Child’s name: Chad

Current or former profession: Social Worker

PREGNANCY

How long were you trying to get pregnant?

We were trying to get pregnant for about 8 months and we got pregnant naturally in March 2010. Unfortunately, that pregnancy ended in a miscarriage at 10 weeks. We began trying again in the Fall of 2010 and conceived our son in July 2011.

What did you do or not do to increase your chances of getting pregnant after 40?

Initially, when we were first trying to conceive (when I was 39), we didn’t do anything. Then we began to do BBT charting, ovulation kits and all that goes along with trying to conceive naturally. That is when we conceived the first time. After the miscarriage, we started out pretty much the same. Neither one of us was chomping at the bit to pursue the medical route to conceiving but it became clear to us that if we wanted to be parents, we needed to at least explore all of the available options.

So in April of  2011, we began looking into adoption. We were (and still are) interested in welcoming a child from the foster care system into our family. My husband has always wanted to adopt. I can’t say it’s something I always wanted to do, but I am certainly open to it; especially given all of the children that languish in the foster care system without ever knowing the love and nurturing of a family. It wasn’t about us having a biological child, necessarily. It was about sharing the love we had in our hearts with a child who really needed it.

We also decided to get information about where we were medically, too. In May of 2011, we decided to see a reproductive endocrinologist (RE) to get the preliminary testing. My husband had a semen analysis and I had my hormones tested and a hysterosalpingogram.

My husband’s sperm count was normal and my tests were normal for “my age.” We were given the “unexplained infertility” diagnosis that is both hopeful and infuriating!! The RE did not feel we needed to do anything aggressive because I did not have any barriers truly preventing me from becoming pregnant. We were presented with the option of doing rounds of Clomid with an intrauterine insemination. I should pause here to say that my husband and I are people with a strong Christian faith. We’d always believed that if the Lord wanted to bless us with a family, He would do so in His way and in His timing. This we were clear on.

Venturing into the realm of medically assisted conception was concerning for us because we wanted to be careful not to tread in His territory, so­ to ­speak. After much prayer and seeking godly counsel, we came to the conclusion that our inability to conceive was a medical issue, just like diabetes or asthma (conditions my husband and I have, respectively). We seek available treatment for that to live healthy lives. That is how we believe God provides treatment/healing ­­ through the knowledge and wisdom He gives medical personnel. So we felt comfortable with this level of treatment to address our inability to conceive. And the bottom line to us was that if it wasn’t His will, no amount of treatment would allow us to conceive. So we went forward and conceived our son on the first round of treatment. Our RE marveled  because he said that it was exceedingly rare.

MEDICAL COMMUNITY

 

How supportive were your doctors during your pregnancy?

That was truly a mixed bag. I felt decidedly unsupported during my first regular OB visit. My OB is a no­nonsense, blunt kind of doctor, something I was not particularly appreciative of during my first OB visit, after a miscarriage, and being of “advanced maternal age.” I was expecting her to congratulate me and to be excited with me. Instead, she let me know that because of my age I had a 50% chance of miscarrying during the first trimester and I had an increased chance of having a child with a birth defect because I was 40. She was appalled that my husband and I were opting not to have any invasive testing done. She related a story of how one of her patients “foolishly” didn’t have testing and was devastated when her child was born with Down Syndrome.

I explained to her that my husband and I were committed to this pregnancy no matter. The testing would only serve to add additional anxiety. I wanted to enjoy my pregnancy and I didn’t want to risk, however small, an invasive test that could cause a miscarriage. After my first appointment, I literally cried in the parking lot!

On the other hand, I absolutely LOVED my perinatalogist. He was a kind, older OB who was very experienced with older moms. He made my pregnancy seem like the most natural thing in the world despite being a doctor that specializes in high ­risk pregnancies. He was so encouraging and reassuring. And most importantly, he respected our decision to not do any invasive tests.

Did you change doctors or would like to have changed doctors? Why or why not?

I came very close to changing OB’s. I attempted to make an appointment with an OB that a doctor friend recommended but I would have been 16 weeks along before she could see me. So I decided to stay with the practice I was already with. I reasoned that I only had a 25% chance of delivering with the OB I had a negative experience with and I liked the other OB’s and NP’s in the practice. As the months passed, I realized I needed to at least see this other “dreaded” OB to get to know her in case she did end up delivering our baby.

As I got to know her, I actually grew to appreciate her forthrightness. I found her to be much more confident and accurate in her assessments than the other OB’s. I truly trusted her competency. I wouldn’t choose her to be my friend but I did choose her to deliver my baby when I found out I had to have a scheduled c-­section!

FAMILY AND FRIENDS

What was the reaction of friends and family when you told me about your pregnancy?

Overjoyed!! Everyone was supportive, excited, and hopeful!

LABOR AND DELIVERY

Did you take any childbirth classes? Why or why not?

We opted to take childbirth classes because at the time, I didn’t know if I would have natural childbirth or have an epidural. We felt that even if we decided to go with an epidural, the breathing techniques would be helpful to cope with labor. Little did we know we wouldn’t need it at all!

At 36 weeks I was informed that my little sweet pea (as we called him) was more like a lima bean and that I would need to have a C-­section. They estimated that he was at least 9 pounds and could be anywhere up to 11. Since I’d never given birth before, they had some major concerns about shoulder dystocia. I delivered my son via planned C-­section 5 days before his official due date. He weighed 9.5 lbs.

What do you remember most about the birth experience?

Two things: It was (and still is) mind boggling. It truly is a miracle of God. One moment your child is inside of you. He is more of a notion than a reality. The next moment you have this living, breathing person in front of you.. The other is that it’s weird not knowing what labor or contractions feel like. After 9 months of waiting, I didn’t have to (get to) experience what is usually the culmination of pregnancy. I’m not complaining. It’s just weird.

I AM MOM

What concerns you most about being a mom over 35 and how do you address these concerns?

Living long enough to see my son grow up and have his own family is a great concern to me. I address it by taking care of the things that are within my control. I am trying to lose weight, exercise and eat healthier. The rest of it is in God’s hands!

What do you enjoy most about being an older mom?

Having never been a younger mom, it’s difficult to know how it’s different but I think that I am wiser (or at least I hope so). I don’t feel like I’m missing anything as a younger woman might think. I think having experienced infertility and a loss has more of an impact on my enjoyment in being a mother than my age. This is something I longed for. That longing has been fulfilled and I am enjoying being a mom way more than I could have dreamed or imagined. It truly brings me joy. I am grateful every single day. I see my child as a blessing, not a burden.

How has becoming a mom changed you?

It has made me slow down and live in the moment more. There is no “rush, rush, rush” with a baby. I am less selfish.

What advice do you have for women considering motherhood after 35?

Don’t focus on the increased odds of having a child with birth defects. At 40, your chances of having a baby with Down Syndrome goes from significantly less than 1 % to like 2%. Yes, but that still means that you have a 98% chance of having a baby without Down Syndrome. All negative statistics have a positive flip side. Focus on that!

 

MEET MOM SHERYL TAYLOR

By March 20, 2017 Uncategorized
Name:  Sheryl Taylor

Age when you gave birth: 45 (just 5 days before 46th birthday)

State/Country of residence:  Georgia

Child’s name and age: Daughter, Charlize Taylor will be 3 years old in April.

Current or former profession(s):  Realtor, Bank Treasury Officer, currently a stay-at-home mom and blogger at happilyeverafterthesedays.com

PREGNANCY

How long were you trying to get pregnant?

We started when I was 42 and got pregnant within 3 months, but lost the pregnancy at 6 weeks in a miscarriage.  I had been using progesterone cream, but stopped when I read on the label to discontinue use if pregnant.  I realized after the fact, the immediate lowering of progesterone may have contributed to the miscarriage. Sadly, I was not educated about the matter before my miscarriage.  Then we tried naturally for 3 years before going to a fertility doctor.  He advised IVF and we got pregnant with the first transfer, so the total number of years of trying was about 3 1/2 years.

What did you do or not do to increase your chances of getting pregnant after 35?

Everything I read recommended healthy eating, exercise and to try to lose weight, which I did.  I also turned to herbs, specific foods and supplements that are known to increase the chances of conception such as wheatgrass, progesterone cream, and lots of avocado.  I also received acupuncture, which made me feel great.

My acupuncturist is actually who finally convinced me to visit a fertility clinic.  She was not pushy about it. Her supportive and calm nature is what helped me to be open to what they had to say.  She also shared her faith with me in the same non-aggressive manner and this helped me to have faith as well.

Even after we decided to use a fertility doctor for IVF treatment, I continued to see the acupuncturist.  She did a treatment right after my IVF transfer.  I really think it contributed to our conception at the first IVF treatment.  I’ve read many stories of women who tried multiple IVF treatments before conceiving or who never conceived from the treatments at all.

SUPPORT

Medical Community  

How supportive were your doctors during your pregnancy?  

During my first pregnancy that ended in miscarriage, I didn’t feel the first doctor was supportive.  She was a young doctor who took over my old OB/GYN’s practice when he retired.  We had not know each other long when I told her about our plans to get pregnant at 42.  She highly discouraged it at my “advanced maternal age”.  She did send me to a high risk doctor for a consultation, where he tried to scare me with very negative statistics about older mothers and birth defects.

Did you change doctors or would like to have changed doctors? Why or why not?

After the miscarriage, I researched OB/GYNs in my area and found one who stated in her bio that she worked with mothers of advanced maternal age. In fact, she had her daughter when she was over 40.  She was very supportive during our initial consultion as well as through out my pregnancy.  However, she was strict with me and always very honest, even if I didn’t want to hear what she had to say.  I appreciated her compassion, straightforwardness and professionalism.  It greatly contributed to us finally having a healthy, happy child.

Family and Friends

What was the reaction of friends and family when you told them about your pregnancy?

We told a few family members and friends when we decided to try IVF as a way to get pregnant.  Their reactions were a mix of being concerned, some supportiveness and some not-so-supportiveness.

My youngest stepdaughter lived with us at the time. I told her about her father and my plans to try to conceive.  The progesterone shots made me very emotional and I thought she might need to know in order to understand my crankiness.  She shared the information with her older sister who lived with their mom in another state.  She wrote her dad a letter expressing her feelings and how he would be a grandfather in a few years.  However, she wasn’t the only family member or friend who shared that they felt we were too old to have a baby.

Once everyone saw that I made it through the pregnancy and delivery just fine, they only expressed support.  The older daughters love their little sister and she adores them as well.

Labor and Delivery

What do you remember most about the birth experience?

My doctor induced me a week early because my liver enzymes was a little high.  I also developed gestational diabetes during the 7th month of pregnancy.  My doctor put me on bed rest for the remainder of the pregnancy due to the high level of stress in my then-sales’ job.

I remember everything feeling so surreal.  After all of these years, I was going to have a baby!  I was going to have a baby.  My childhood dream was finally coming true!

There are no words to truly describe how I felt when they laid my beautiful baby girl on my chest.  I was finally a mom!

I AM MOM

What concerns you most about being a mom over 35 and how do you address these concerns?

My husband and I both have the same main concern that most all older parents have.  Will we be around long enough?  Will we be here for her well into her adulthood?

We both address any life concerns with praying, educating ourselves, and talking it through with each other as well as others who might be familiar with the situation.  We’ve not only worked on our child having a relationship with all of our family members, but also our extended family such as her God parents, other church friends and even our neighbors who have children.

We have a very detailed will written which outlines who will take care of our child if anything happens to us.  My husband and I try to eat healthy as well as get exercise individually and as a family.  Last, but not least, we teach our child about our faith, our values, and our love so she has a foundation to stand upon independently, if we are not around long enough.

What do you enjoy most about being an older mom?

I definitely enjoy being in a place financially that I can stay at home with our daughter.  If I had her in my younger years, I wouldn’t be in a position to stay home with her.  Also, even if I still worked,  I would still appreciate being a mom more than when I was younger.  I don’t sweat the small stuff as much as I did when I was younger.  I’ve learned if I need to leave dirty dishes in the sink so I can play with our daughter, the dishes will still be there in the morning.

How has becoming a mom changed you?

I am no longer a perfectionist when it comes to having a spotless house.  As I mentioned earlier, I’ve learned not to stress as much about daily tasks.

I’ve also learned not to be as judgmental of others.  Before I was a mom, I didn’t understand why my friends who were moms couldn’t “get everything done” for the day.  I didn’t think about that a mom has to deal with unscheduled things like a toddler tantrum, a scraped knee, or spilled juice on the floor you just mopped.

What advice do you have for women considering motherhood after 35? 

My personal experience of having a child after 35 wasn’t really a choice.  Or maybe it was?  I married at 20 years old the first time and then divorced him when I turned 33.  I dated, but didn’t choose to remarry until a few months after my 40th birthday.

I just didn’t feel it would be in a child’s best interest to bring them into the life I could offer until I married my husband.  I was able to see the father he already was to his older two daughters.  I finally felt comfortable having a child with someone.

My advice would be, if you want children and are in the right situation, go ahead and have them while you are younger.  If you find yourself already 35 or older and want children, make it happen.  Everyone’s journey to parenthood is different.  Be open-minded.

I’ve known friends over 35 who only wanted to conceive under their own terms.  I’ve also know friends who have been open-minded enough to try herbs, acupuncture, and many other things that helped them to conceive naturally, in time.

Finally, I’ve also known friends who were open to medical help such as IUI or IVF (which we did and were successful).  Then, there are other friends who grew their family through adoption, sometimes adopting an infant, older child or sibling group.  Regardless of which path they chose, the ones who were open minded became parents, even if it wasn’t how they originally planned.

Additional comments?

God Bless and lots of baby dust to you!

MEET FEATURED MOM JOAN

By February 21, 2017 Blog, Featured Moms

Name:  Joan

Age when you gave birth:  Less than a week from 39 years old when I gave birth to my son

State of residence:  Michigan

Current or former profession(s):  Blogger/Editor at Late Bloomer Moms

PREGNANCY 

How long were you trying to get pregnant?

About 2 years

What did you do or not do to increase your chances of getting pregnant after 35?

Progesterone, tried to eat healthy consistently and work out regularly.  I drove myself nuts with charting, temping, etc. but it was all helpful in that I learned a LOT more about the human body than I’d ever thought I would!

SUPPORT

Medical

How supportive were your doctors during your pregnancy?

They weren’t – I went to 3 different fertility specialists (one who had been my own GYN for over 10 years).

Did you change doctors or would like to have changed doctors?

I changed doctors because I was basically told – by all 3, including my regular GYN – that I would pretty much need “medical intervention” (i.e. IVF) in order to even get pregnant, let alone have a successful birth.  I felt like they were just trying to fill their pocketbooks.

Family and Friends

What was the reaction of friends and family when you told me about your pregnancy?

They were all thrilled – many of my friends prayed with me, so they knew this was a big blessing for us!

We had miscarried after trying for months to get pregnant. So when we got pregnant again “just” 4 months later (the week of Thanksgiving) as excited as we were, we didn’t say anything at first.  I told my mom on Christmas (at 8 weeks) only because I was already getting a bit of a belly.  My mom cried tears of joy  because I’m her baby and I was having a baby.  And then I got knowing glances from my co-workers, but we didn’t confirm suspicions of co-workers and friends until we were in the 2nd trimester (end of January).

LABOR AND DELIVERY

What do you remember most about the birth experience?

It was LONG.  I had every intention of having a natural birth if at all possible – we even hired a doula.  But at about my 35th week my blood pressure was getting dangerously high. I had to have weekly ultrasounds, and then I wound up having to have my son about 2 weeks early.  And he was NOT ready to come out.  I labored without drugs for about 21 hours  using a medicine ball, my doula massaging my back and helping me be as comfortable as possible when you’re in labor. Despite my best efforts, and as stubborn as I am, I finally just realized I needed a little “help.”  Then one of the residents broke my water and I knew I was on the clock then.  I wound up having a C-section.

I AM MOM!

What concerns you most about being a mom over 35 and how do you address these concerns?

Just having energy and prioritizing when I have a full-time career as well. I try to schedule everything and my weekends are for my family!

What do you enjoy most about being an older mom?

That I’m where I need to be.  For me, getting married later and being an “older” mom is perfect timing for me.  When I was younger, a friend of mine would lament about not being married or having kids yet when everyone else around us was. I said, “All on YOUR timetable.”    I am greatly enjoying the new kind of fun my son brings into my life.

How has becoming a mom changed you?

I honestly did not know if motherhood was for me.  But it’s the best kind of love there is in this world.  My husband and I know our son is truly a blessing, especially considering our challenges to have him.   I’m definitely more patient!

What advice do you have for women considering motherhood after 35?  

Have faith.  Have faith in what your body can do.  I was told I had blocked tubes and endometriosis and low progesterone, etc.  but I refused to believe I was already “too old” to have a baby naturally.  Also, educate yourself.  If I wasn’t stubborn, I would have just stopped at “well, we can’t have a baby unless we do IVF.”  I did research on my own, modified my and my husband’s diets, and that helped a lot!  Have a doctor/birthing team who has your best interests in mind!

Any additional comments?

Be flexible – know that things may not go according to plan.  Work with your birthing team to find what works for you, but know that you may need to be open-minded.

 

 

MEET MOM FRANCESCA KOTOMSKI

By January 23, 2017 Blog, Featured Home, Featured Moms, Uncategorized

 

Name: Francesca Kotomski

Ages when gave birth: 40 and 44

State of residence:  Massachusetts

Children’s names : Lucas and Matthew

Current profession:  Fitness instructor, personal trainer, instructor at career school http://www.francescakotomski.com/

PREGNANCY

How long were you trying to get pregnant?

 I was trying 4 years.

What did you do or not do to increase your chances of getting pregnant after 40? 

Slowed down, exercise, went BPA free bottles, meds and followed my cycle carefully.

SUPPORT 

The Medical Community

How supportive were your doctors during your pregnancy? 

My ob was not supportive of older moms.  I could tell and with the second one, I didn’t even see him until after the first trimester.  I thought he would tell me something bad. And when he had the chance, he did!   He was absolutely wrong!  I was so glad he didn’t deliver Matthew. A female doc in his practice delivered Matthew.

Did you change doctors or would like to have changed doctors? Why or why not?

I only changed doctors from the IVF people to a very healthy Catholic doctor who used natural fertility methods.  His methods are proven and it worked!  I changed to this doctor because he had a very healthy and pro-life way to deal with fertility issues.    After Matthew was born, I saw my non supportive ob/gyn once.  I switched for my gyn appointments to a regular doctor.

Family and Friends

What was the reaction of friends and family when you told me about your pregnancy? 

Family and friends were supportive; although my mother said she was scared and felt that I was very lucky to have healthy kids “at this age.”  She said that more than once.  But everyone was very happy.

LABOR AND DELIVERY

Did you take any childbirth classes? Why or why not? 

Yes, I took a class for the first baby.  Then after the first one, I realized that most of what I learned didn’t seem to apply!  Giving birth is fairly natural and the nurses coach you through.

What do you remember most about the birth experience?

The first one was induced, long and painful and I had epidural. The second was quick and painful but with no epidural because it was so quick.   What I remember most: pain and then happiness to see my baby.

I’M A MOM

fran with boys2

What concerns you most about being a mom over 35 and how do you address these concerns?  

The future is my concern, getting older,  slowly down naturally, as well as retirement as they enter college. Hopefully, I can give my children enough lively exciting experiences.

What do you enjoy most about being an older mom?

Feeling more settled in who I am, stronger in my will to do the right thing!  It’s good to know others who are in the same place.

How has becoming a mom changed you?

I appreciate the little things.  I appreciate when I get time alone and quiet time.   It’s slowed me down, but that’s good.

What advice do you have for women considering motherhood after 35?

Get into good, healthy shape.  You will need to be strong in will as you deal with others ideas of a younger mom vs older mom.  You also need to be physically able to handle the demands of an additional person who depends on you.

 Do you have any additional comments?

I like to surround myself with other moms and support groups to do play groups or library groups.  I work hard to attain a balance between professional life and time with my little guy, especially before he goes into school.  That’s a big struggle because I want more out of my professional life and I realize that time as a young child is short.  So, older moms will have that struggle as they are settled into their career.

I think it’s best for moms to be open to changing their hours or the way they do work.  I work a variety of hours and that helps with my balancing act.  Also, doing exercise at home through the home workouts saves me a lot of time. And, allows my children to participate in programs that are scheduled the same time as traditional gym classes.

InSeason Mom Cynthia would like to thank InSeason Mom Francesca for sharing her story and for being an inspiration to all of us. To learn more about Francesca’s fitness and personal training program, visit http://www.francescakotomski.com/