In Season Mom
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MEET TINA MARIE – 2 BABIES AFTER 40

By April 3, 2016 Blog, Featured Moms
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Name: Tina Marie

Age when you gave birth: 42 and 44

 State of residence: Arizona

Children:  Braylon, age 2 and Bryce- 3 months (Tina was pregnant with Bryce at the time of this interview.)

Current or former profession(s):  Actress, Events Manager, Nerium Consultant, Stay- At- Home Mommy

PREGNANCY

How long were you trying to get pregnant?

We weren’t trying either time. We were just enjoying life! We did not do any planning other than having a desire of our hearts.

 MEDICAL COMMUNITY

How supportive were your doctors during your pregnancy?

My doctor was very supportive, made me feel more comfortable and gave me hope when I was scared. This second time, I was shocked  when I found out I was pregnant.  I think the lady (doctor) seemed shocked as well!

What did you do to increase your chances of becoming pregnant a second time?

I never worked on increasing my chances except for prayer and taking prenatal pills after the first baby was born, while breastfeeding him.

Did you change doctors or would like to have changed doctors?

No, I kept the same one. I considered changing because my doctor was a part of a team and based on the day you deliver, my doctor may not have been available. The thought to switch occurred to me –a few times– just because I heard about another lady (doctor) who was so loving and I like that connection. Other than that, my doctor wanted me to have another baby right away. I laughed!

 FAMILY AND FRIENDS

What was the reaction of friends and family when you told them about your first and current pregnancy?

Everyone was elated and some shocked. I recently shared on Facebook how I was overwhelmed by all the love and support from both near and far. My husband was definitely surprised and took some time to digest having another baby. I shared the news by giving him an empty can of Prego sauce with our names, Reg and Tina, on the outside of the can. Inside of the can was the picture of my 8 weeks ultrasound!

 LABOR AND DELIVERY

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What do you remember most about the birth experience?

With my first birth experience, I remember going shopping in Target. My hubby was in car. I needed to use the restroom because of a surprised mucous plug breaking. I thought something was wrong. I called the doctor. Then, we (hubby and I) went on about our day with some relief. I fit in shopping at Sephora and a Pregnancy Photo Shoot!

My check-up was scheduled for the following morning. I was going to have to be induced or I needed to be dilated. I started crying and we went straight to the hospital. The rest is history except towards the end when I was challenged to start pushing. We prayed and the doctor advised me that “this next push had to be like an Olympic runner or we would have do alternative,” meaning a C- section.

I said to my husband and sisters, “Cheer me on guys!” My doctor said okay and brought the forceps team in. I was finished after that big strong push!

With my second birth experience, my doula was with my hubby Reggie and me. I believe having a doula made the experience even more joyful because Reggie was able to focus with me. My doula took pictures (of the birth).  She did things that I wasn’t able to do and see things I would not remember.  Reggie and my doula made my experience truly surreal and amazing.

I was checked in the hospital a week later (than my due date). I was in active labor for about 1 hour and 15 minutes. I was started on Pitocin when  I was at 4 cm. We had worship music playing.  We prayed as a team. My doula’s direction was so encouraging. The big surprise was when my contractions grew closer and closer, my doula told the nurse, without my knowing, that the doctor needed to come in. She told the nurse, “I do not want to have to deliver this baby.”

Even though the epidural was requested, the anesthesiologist was on his way but there was no turning back. I was unable to stop pushing. Our baby was ready.  I kept saying “where is the epidural.”

They said, “It’s showtime! He is coming out!”  At 12:54 PM, I gave a half a dozen pushes and our Lil Angel came out healthy and natural. Au natural! I couldn’t believe it! There was no way I thought I could endure this pain, but God knew.

We were blessed with a baby boy named Bryce, weighing  7.10 pounds and 21 inches.  For this I am truly grateful!

We stayed in the hospital a couple of days to recuperate and enjoy time alone before returning home. Hubby and big brother Braylon even stayed which made it one big slumber party and celebration of our 2nd little prince!

 I AM MOM

What concerns you most about being a mom over 35 and how do you address this concern? 

The most that concerns me is being there to support my children later in their years. I believe it’s important to take care of myself and stay in shape. I want to live long with a youthful and healthy body, mind, and soul for my children. Anything is possible just depends on how you feel!

What do you enjoy most about being an older mom?

I enjoy having more quality time to give my sons and living in a season where I am more mature. The quality time I have and the desire to raise another person is awesome.

How has becoming a mom changed you?

I definitely have a new compassion for children. Because of the responsibility God has given me to raise strong children with a passion for life, I am less selfish and I give unconditional love to my children that I can see grow up in His likeness.  I am more settled and desire to play more,too.

What advice do you have for women considering motherhood after 35?

IMG_3929Be available, stay healthy, and have a heart of compassion to live life to the fullest. We are as old as we feel! Don’t act your age in all ways, only use wisdom with a youthful attitude. Be present and communicate your needs clearly.

Never give up! Life is precious.  Eat well, pray, have a support group, and get involved with other like- minded moms. Never give up because life is precious as gold and silver.

InSeason Mom Cynthia would like to thank  Tina Marie for encouraging other women by sharing her story.  (Download my quick-read guide offering 30+ POSITIVE tips to cope while trying to conceive (after age 35) in your 40s https://gumroad.com/l/hfaIs )

 

“Advanced Maternal Age” term outdated as “Old Maid or Spinster”

By March 15, 2016 Blog
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This morning it occurred to me that the term “advanced maternal age” is as outdated/antiquated as the term “old maid or spinster.” In the medical community, if a woman becomes pregnant or gives birth after age 35, the physician will most likely write on her chart Advanced Maternal Age (AMA).

I compare this to the antiquated/outdated term “spinster or old maid”  which was frequently used to describe the martial status of a single woman.   Spinster or old maid is an offensive term for a woman who has remained single beyond the conventional age of  marrying. From my research, I found “spinster or old maid”was written on marriage licenses in England until 2005!

I say it’s past time that American medical community drop the AMA term from medical documents just as English dropped the spinster/old maid from marriage licenses! Did you know the advanced maternal age term was coined over 30 years ago? Needless to write, things have changed over the last 30 years. Women are pursuing their education and career goals, marrying later and giving births to healthy babies later in life.

While it is true that some women experience complications in pregnancy after 35, it is equally true that most women experience a healthy pregnancy after age 35.

Medical experts now agree “age alone does not predict risk, but several lifestyle factors, such as family history, socio-economics, and demographics have major impacts on the well-being of the mother and infant.”

Considering that more women are giving birth for the first time after age 35 than ever, we need a more modern term, a less dated term, a “makeover” term.  Personally, I prefer the term that I coined when I gave birth to my first and second child in my early and mid 40s: InSeason Mom!

MEET FEATURED MOM LIZZIE

By March 8, 2016 Blog, Featured Home, Featured Moms
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Name: Lizzie Lau

Age When You Gave Birth: 44

State of residence: California

Daughter’s name and age: Ebi 4

Current/Former profession: Writer  http://www.lizzielau.com/   Ex Skydiver, Shark Feeder, Motocross Racer, Retired Chef

PREGNANCY

How long were you trying to get pregnant?

Two years, I didn’t want kids at all until I was 37 and it hit me hard. I left my husband of 11 years because he was much older and didn’t want kids.

What did you do or not do to increase your chances of getting pregnant after 40?
I was using an ovulation detector, but gave up after I miscarried. The second pregnancy happened when we weren’t thinking about the baby project.

MEDICAL COMMUNITY

How supportive were your doctors during your pregnancy?

I didn’t really rely on a doctor as much as I relied on my intuition, and my doula who happened to be my sister. The doctor in Indio was kind and funny but he didn’t play much of a role in the pregnancy.

Did you change doctors or would like to have changed doctors? Why or why not?

I was living in Guatemala City and I wasn’t happy with my doctors. I tried 3 doctors there and liked the third one until he told me that I should plan on having a c-section because at my age I probably couldn’t deliver naturally. I called my parents that day and asked them to find me a doctor in California. I spoke to a midwife in Indio and she recommended a doctor who had been trained by midwives and had a quiet, gentle approach to birth. My sister and I interviewed him and we both liked him.

FAMILY AND FRIENDS

What was the reaction of friends and family when you told them about your pregnancy?

They were delighted. They knew how much it meant to me.

LABOR AND DELIVERY

Did you take any childbirth classes? Why or why not?

I didn’t. I watched some videos including “The Business of Being Born” but one that stood out was an amazing video of a French woman giving birth at home with a midwife. She chanted and kind of sang and swayed through a long labor, and the birth was so peaceful and beautiful. I watched it several times and decided that I wanted my birth experience to be that simple. My mom and my sister both gave birth naturally and it didn’t occur to me to do it any other way.

What do you remember most about the birth experience?

I remember being surprised at how easy it was. I labored at home for 36 hours, dancing and chanting. When the contractions were finally 5 minutes apart, My mom drove me and my sister to the hospital. I had a contraction while I was checking in, and I don’t think the nurses were taking me seriously. I climbed up onto the table after the next one and the nurse called out, “Let’s get her doctor in immediately, she’s 9.5cm.” My mom and my sister were clapping and cheering. It took an hour and a half to push her out and it didn’t hurt at all. The delivery nurses couldn’t believe how calm I was and one even commented that I looked like a mom with an epidural. My mom and my sister both took photos and video.

I A MOM! lizzie with baby girl-2

What concerns you most about being a mom over 40 and how do you address these concerns?

My only concern is that I take really good care of myself so that I’m healthy and vital so that I can be a positive part of my daughter’s life for a long time.

What do you enjoy most about being an older mom?

I got all my crazies out when I was younger, I’m calm and content to be with her. I don’t suffer fear of missing out like young moms in my group do. I’ve been around the world, I’ve had great adventures, and everything that’s left on my bucket list is stuff I want to experience with my daughter.

How has becoming a mom changed you?

Being a mom made me slow down and appreciate different things about life. I live more simply now, and am conscious of modeling behavior and values that I want Ebi to have. I practice gratitude every day.

What advice do you have for women considering motherhood after 35?

Find your support network. Join a mom’s club in your area so that you have a group of women and babies going through or having just gone through what you are experiencing.

Any additional comments?

I’m grateful to my parents for their support. They are olympic caliber grandparents, and I truly value the relationship they have with my daughter.

InSeason Mom Cynthia would like to thank  Lizzie for encouraging other women by sharing her story.  (Download my quick-read guide offering 30+ POSITIVE tips to cope while trying to conceive (after age 35) in your 40s https://gumroad.com/l/hfaIs )

MEET FEATURED MOM DARLINE TURNER

By February 5, 2016 Blog, Featured Home, Featured Moms, Uncategorized
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Name:
 Darline Turner

Age: 49

State of residence: Texas

Children and ages: 12 year old daughter and an 8 year old son

Current or former profession(s): Women’s Health Coach (Currently), Nationally Certified Physician Assistant (Not currently working clinically); Owner and Founder of Mamas on Bedrest & Beyond  www.mamasonbedrest.com

PREGNANCY

How long were you trying to get pregnant? 

I could get pregnant pretty easily, but I would miscarry early on before 12 weeks. Started in 2001, had first miscarriage and myomectomy to remove uterine fibroids. I had my daughter in 2002 at age 37 and my son in 2006 (after a second miscarriage in 2004) age 40.

What did you do or not do to increase your chances of getting pregnant after 40?

I was put on progesterone suppositories at ovulation because it was discovered that I had a luteal phase defect and my uterine lining was not developing enough to support the pregnancies.

SUPPORT

The Medical Community

How supportive were your doctors during your pregnancy?

They were supportive of the pregnancy, but not of me or my life in particular. Being older and high risk, I don’t feel they really took to heart the emotional toll it took on me, especially since I was without family or support in the immediate area.

I felt left to my own devices to get the help and support I needed. That is why I started Mamas on Bedrest & Beyond. I wanted to be the support I wish I had had; i.e. help around the house, help with my daughter (second pregnancy) and emotional support.

Did you change doctors or would like to have changed doctors? Why or why not?

No. My OB and her practice were overall very good and very good with dealing with women with my types of medical complications. I opted for the technical expertise over the emotional intelligence.

Family and Friends

What was the reaction of friends and family when you told me about your pregnancy? 

My family was supportive, but cautious. I was pregnant with my son and turned 40 during the pregnancy. Having had a miscarriage, surgery to remove uterine fibroids prior to having my daughter, and then a second miscarriage, we all kind of held our collective breaths while I carried my son. Ironically, it was the easiest journey of my entire reproductive life!

LABOR AND DELIVERY

What do you remember most about the birth experience? 

Well, I hemorrhaged after having my daughter. Initially, she did not cry when she first was lifted out of me (c-section) and I was moving and squirming trying to see her. She finally cried and then was whisked out of the surgical delivery suite to the nursery. She had fluid on her lung and they needed to “work on her breathing”.

Meanwhile, I was bleeding and throwing up and my OB’s partner (who delivered in my OB’s absence since I was 3 weeks early) worked diligently to stimulate my very “boggy and non- contracting uterus” and to stop the bleeding and stitch me up while the anesthesiologist gave me something to stop the vomiting and calm me down. I was pretty upset that they took my daughter and I really didn’t get to see or hold her!

I remember there was a lot of hustle and bustle as instrument packs were opened and everyone prepped to work on me. My husband had left to go with my daughter and I remember thinking what a horrible joke it would be if after everything I went through, I didn’t live to see/hold my daughter! I was really upset. For a time, every time the OB stitched, blood shot up like Old Faithful. But she was very focused and skilled and after about 45 minutes, I was all stitched up. It was 12 hours before I held my daughter and that was as she was on her way up to the NICU.

My son’s birth was the polar opposite. Since my husband was less than useless during my daughter’s delivery, I asked my sister to be with me in the delivery room. My son was born at 39 weeks via C-section. My OB delivered him and it was a nearly perfect C-section except the anesthesiologist missed while giving the epidural and initially only numbed my left side.

It also really hurt and I broke out into a sweat, started shaking and nearly fainted.

However, once they got the epidural properly administered, the delivery occurred without a problem. My son came out with the most hilarious expression on his face as if to say, “Are you freaking kidding me? It’s cold a stink out her!” He then looked at each one of us and then let out a wail! Dr. Swenson the held him up by his legs, something about letting the fluid out of his lungs and he proceeded to pee around the entire delivery room.

When My OB went to stitch me up, that bleeding thing wanted to start up, so she had my son put to my breast and he nursed like a champ! Meanwhile, his nursing stimulated my uterus to contract and the bleeding was averted. While this delivery went much more smoothly, I had a much harder recovery. Nursing really made my C-section incision hurt and my back hurt for months after the delivery-about 6 months to be exact! Even now, almost 9 years later, on very rare occasions when I’m tired or have done a vigorous workout, I can feel EXACTLY where I had that epidural.

 I’M A MOM!Darline T

What concerns you most about being a mom over 35 and how do you address these concerns?

Nothing really. For me, the problem was getting the kids here. Once I had them, I had no concerns whatsoever about raising them.

What do you enjoy most about being an older mom?

I think I’m much smarter. I didn’t worry about having the latest and greatest baby items. I was really clear about how I was going to do motherhood, so I didn’t get sucked up into the commercial/retail craze. Also, being a Physician Assistant, I don’t sweat colds and such. My kids are super healthy and each have had only one ear infection. I’m also much more savvy about their development and behaviors. I don’t sweat things that they do nearly as much as I would if I were a younger mom. Having practiced clinically for 8 years before becoming pregnant really gave me a level of knowledge and comfort I never would have had had I had children younger. I honestly feel I had my kids at the perfect age.

How has becoming a mom changed you?

I let go of a lot of superfluousness! Being single or even a newlywed, I worried about a lot of truly inconsequential things. Once I had kids, I could see a lot of that fluff for just what it was-superfluous fluff! I let it go. I gained a lot of wisdom and perspective having my kids.

What advice do you have for women considering motherhood after 35?

If you really want to do it, DO IT!! Don’t let people scare you with all sorts of statistics and “advanced maternal age” stuff. If you are healthy and there are no contraindications to you having children, go for it! Just realize that you may encounter a few more complications, but most are easily resolved. Take good care of yourself and you and your baby will most likely be fine!!

Additional comments?

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I truly believe that if you are meant to have children, you will. I say this because I have a cousin who had a baby at age 52, completely healthy, after having and losing a son at 18 to Sickle Cell Anemia. My little cousin was destined to come and come she did! If you really feel in your heart you are to have children, go for it! You wouldn’t have the desire if it wasn’t for you!

InSeason Mom Cynthia would like to thank Darlene for sharing her story! (Download my quick-read guide offering 30+ POSITIVE tips to cope while trying to conceive (after age 35) in your 40s https://gumroad.com/l/hfaIs )

MEET FEATURED MOM LISA

By January 8, 2016 Blog, Featured Moms, Uncategorized
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Name:
 Lisa

Age when you gave birth:  43

State of residence:  London, England

Child’s name and age: Alexander, son, 2.5 years

Current or former profession(s): currently blogging at www.thestylopedia.com, previously a banker

PREGNANCY

How long were you trying to get pregnant?

One year

What did you do or not do to increase your chances of getting pregnant after 40?

After three miscarriages (all due to chromosomal issues), I went through one cycle of IVF to try to screen out any eggs that were not viable.  Luckily, it worked the first time.

SUPPORT

 Medical Community

How supportive were your doctors during your pregnancy?

Extremely, although one scanner did use the term “Geriatric Maternal Age” on my form, which horrified me!

Did you change doctors or would like to have changed doctors? Why or why not?

No, my medical care was superb.

Family and Friends

What was the reaction of friends and family when you told them about your pregnancy?

All of them were overjoyed.  I sort of did everything fashionably late in life; I only got married at forty, so having a baby at forty three seemed very natural to me.  It was now or never!

LABOR and DELIVERY

What do you remember most about the birth experience?

I had a cesarean, but because my son was covered in such a thick layer of slippery vernix, the doctor still had to use forceps to get him out.  My son howled loudly of course, but the second they placed him on my chest, he went completely silent.  I was stunned at the power of our immediate connection with each other.  My entire life and my priorities completely shifted in that one second; it really changed me.  That exact second is when I became a mother.

I AM MOM!

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What concerns you most about being a mom over 35 and how do you address these concerns?

I want to be vibrant and healthy and be a part of my son’s life for as long as possible of course. So I eat very healthy and I go to the gym four times a week.   I take extra care of my health. I probably wouldn’t take such extra care if I weren’t a mother over 35.

What do you enjoy most about being an older mom?

Because I had my career first, I have the time to really focus on my son.  I’ve had a life full of travel and intensive work, so it feels like a luxury to look after my son, rather than a chore.  I have the maturity to enjoy the ‘moments’ instead of trying to juggle too much.

How has becoming a mom changed you?

I was never a worrier, but I am now!  I don’t second-guess my decisions concerning his well-being; I really listen to my gut and I know the right things to do for him.  I didn’t know that kind of mothering was innate in me, but it definitely is.

What advice do you have for women considering motherhood after 35?

Nutrition is absolutely everything; it is the foundation of your health and of your baby’s health.  If you want to create another body, you have to make sure yours is as healthy and nourished as possible.   After several miscarriages, I also did a lot of meditation in my pregnancy to stay relaxed and stress-free instead of worrying about another unpreventable miscarriage.

InSeason Mom Cynthia would like to thank Lisa for sharing her story! (Download my quick-read guide offering 30+ POSITIVE tips to cope while trying to conceive (after age 35) in your 40s https://gumroad.com/l/hfaIs )

 

Happy 2016!

By December 31, 2015 Blog, Uncategorized

Sending warm hugs and love for your 2016! CynBirthdayThank you for helping me to spread the InSeason Mom message ( throughout the years) of support for first time moms over 35 and 40. Thank you for allowing me to dispel misconceptions about first time moms over 35.

Thank you for allowing me to share the stories of women over 35 who gave birth to their first or second baby. Thank you for allowing me to share the stories of 40-something- year- old women who conceived naturally and gave birth, after being told by arrogant doctors that they will never have babies. Thank you for allowing me to share the stories of women over 35 who had successful pregnancies through IVF, proving that faith and medicine can work together! Thank you for allowing me to bring you the stories of women who did not have any complications conceiving and giving birth after age 40.

Thank you for allowing me to share my belief in each of these Featured Mom stories that “There is a Power greater than circumstances. There is Hope. There is God.”

I plan to continue bringing you stories of Featured Moms and to introduce you to advertisers/sponsors that I believe are aligned with our InSeason Mom message.

Hugs and Blessings!

Cynthia