Today I update this post for the same reason I wrote it over five years ago: to encourage women over 35 and 40 in their trying-to-get pregnant journey and to resist the widely-believed myths promoted by faith drainers.
I wasn’t as aware of these faith drainers when I married at 40, conceived naturally (by God’s grace) and gave birth to healthy daughters at age 42 and 44. However, I soon discovered the faith drainers when I listened to conversations in the hair salons about having a baby after 35 and when I researched the topic online. These common-believed myths ignited my passion and guided me to what I believe is one of my God-given assignments: to dispel misconceptions about pregnancy and having a baby after 35 and to provide emotional support for first time moms over 35 as they work with their health care professions to ensure the best care possible.
First, I must say that I don’t tell women to wait until their late 30s or their 40s to conceive. But, I realize not every woman magically finds “Mr. Right” in her 20s. Also, there are many married women who tried for years to conceive and natural conception didn’t occur until after age 35.
While it’s not hard to find articles on the risks of having babies after 35, it’s not as easy to find information which counters the negative information. I’ve been providing positive stories on InSeason Mom blog for over 10 years about real women who conceived and gave birth to healthy babies after age 35 and in their 40s.
Now, let’s talk about a few faith drainers and check out the encouraging story links of first time moms over 35 and 40:
Medical Faith Drainers – You’ll Never Get Pregnant
Unfortunately, now a whole new group of women are being quoted commonly accepted misconceptions about getting pregnant after 35 and in their 40s. Many of the misconceptions such as women over 35 will have unhealthy babies are believed as truth. Rather than taking time to research the healthy 40-something female medical history, the doctor looks at her age along with outdated statistics which are based on group not individual medical history/studies. The arrogant doctor tells her that she’ll never have a baby. This doctor is a biased licensed faith drainer.
Unlike the arrogant doctor, today, many healthcare professionals gauge pregnancy risk by a pregnant woman’s health status, not her age (source: Your Pregnancy after 35 by Dr. Curtis Glade and Author Judith Schuler).
Francesa’s Encouraging Story: http://inseasonmom.org/meet-francesca-kotomski/
Medical Faith Drainers – You’ll Never Get Pregnant with Your Own Eggs
I update this post as encouragement to the woman who recently read or heard reports that celebrities giving birth after 40 with their own eggs are greatly exaggerated or nearly impossible.
Joan was told that she would never get pregnant with her own eggs. Less than a week from turning 39 years old, she proved 3 fertility experts wrong when she gave birth to her son.
Joan’s Encouraging Story: http://inseasonmom.org/meet-featured-mom-joan/
Family, Friends, Co-Workers Faith Drainers- You’re too old to have a baby
I update this post as encouragement for the woman 35+ who has been told not only by co-workers but also by friends and even family that she is too old to have a baby. She may even think she’s too old to fulfill her heart’s desire.
Dinah Cicenas was so shocked when she became pregnant about 3 weeks after her wedding. She didn’t realize she was pregnant until she was about 8 weeks along. Dinah was so confused that she threw the “used” pregnancy test in a public dumpster so her husband wouldn’t find it! She thought she couldn’t get pregnant due to her age.
Dinah’s Encouraging Story: http://inseasonmom.org/december-inseason-mom-dinah-meyer-cicenas/
Combat Faith Drainers With Faith Not Fear
I update this post as a reminder that an All Powerful God can bring a child or children into a woman’s life by any means that He sees appropriate or as we say in the Carolinas “sees fit.”
Jennifer’s Encouraging Story: http://inseasonmom.org/meet-jennifer-workman/
Although this blog focuses more on biological moms, I don’t think this is the only way a woman can become a mom. I believe in motherhood through adoption, which I’ve always viewed as positive, thanks to the loving experiences of family and friends.
I believe in motherhood through marriage, becoming a stepmom. Stepmoms are often not given the same rank of importance as a way God brings a child into a woman’s life, However, I know from personal experience that custodial stepmoms should rank right up there with other moms.
Wendy’s Encouraging Story: http://inseasonmom.org/featured-inseason-mom-april-2013-wendy/
Words for Your Mental Battle
Whether you begin your motherhood journey one day from now or many days from now. I want you to plant the information that I’ve shared with you deep in your mind. Take it out as a reminder on your journey. Take it out to as a sharp faith sword to slice your misconceptions and fears. Remain open in your journey to motherhood. Above all else, I wish you Happy Mothering!
Mini-version of my story: http://inseasonmom.org/about-cynthia/
6 Comments
Such a strong woman of faith, experience and wisdom you are, Cynthia. My daughter is 3-years-old, and I’ve never regretted it nor would I change the journey to becoming a mother right before my 40th birthday! You came into my life when I needed to trust and learn Patience, and to remember I’m never alone in the journey. Your work and your blog inspire us all. And yes, motherhood comes in many forms. Bless all those who take on this role and who care for all our children. It takes a village.
Cat, it’s good to hear from you! I hope you and your family, especially your 3-year-old angel are great! Providing encouragement by stirring up the faith that was already within you during your pre-pregnancy to birth journey was a heart-felt experience for me. (Your journey makes me think often about returning to providing live support calls/Hope Calls Faith Walks.) Thank you for allowing me to be a part of journey and for your supportive comments. It does take a village!
That’s right!
My oldest is now 17. It seems so long ago that I wondered if I would ever have children. Looking back, I’m happy that I was able to look beyond being a mother, even though it was a strong desire. To those who wonder as I did, I would try filling my life with other fulfillments, some of which may involve helping children. You never know what God has in store for you. Right Cynthia? 🙂
Christy, thank you for your encouraging comments. I would be honored to be interviewed for your book on this topic. You’re right. It takes a different level of (I believe stronger) faith as a never-married Christian woman at 40 than it does at 30. When I married at 40, I was able to see a favorite scripture come to life: “Commit your way unto the LORD; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass.” Psalm 37:5 -King James 2000 Bible (©2003) Blessings to you my sister!
Thank You and God Bless you and your family, Cynthia! My name is Christy. I’m a 39 years old Not-yet-married Christian Single. I’ve written inspirational columns for singles and am currently writing a book on the same topic ( I know I’ll be contacting you at some pt for interview 🙂
I’ll admit that this past year has been the most difficult in my faith walk…still believing, but more tears and worry…and though I’ve encouraged others, I acknowledge the need now to be encouraged by others who have been where I am and by their success stories (testimonies)!!! It’s one thing to be 30, 32, even 36 and waiting, but it takes a different level of peace, endurance and faith as I approach the BIG 4-0. Your blog is a blessing from God.
I’ll be returning soon.