Age gave birth: 45
Current residence: Maritimes, Canada
Child’s name and age: Charlize age 7
Current or former profession(s): Insurance Sales and Service for 20+ Years, Blogger
How long were you trying to get pregnant?
I really wasn’t. I married at 44 and my husband was hoping for the chance to be a dad again so pressured me to go off the pill. I did so willingly believing I wouldn’t get pregnant at 44. Surprise! We were married on June 11 and I became pregnant a month later.
What did you do or not do to increase your chances of getting pregnant after 40?
Just went off the pill not even thinking I would become pregnant. I had been on the pill for years so I thought it was a good idea to give my body a break from it. Turns out my body had other plans.
How supportive were your doctors during your pregnancy?
My physician was very supportive and followed my pregnancy closely.
Did you change doctors or would like to have changed doctors? Why or why not?
No, I live in a small town and changing from one OBGYN to another isn’t that easy. As it turned out, she was wonderful.
FAMILY AND FRIENDS
What was the reaction of friends and family when you told them about your pregnancy?
Well, I actually didn’t tell a lot of people. Only my parents and sisters knew. We had opted for an amnio test and the results we received were devastating.
According to the report, there was an abnormality that would result in our baby being extremely disfigured. We were given the option to terminate. As we debated what to do, we couldn’t understand why the ultrasound had been perfect and didn’t present these abnormalities. We were referred to a physician for a more in-depth ultrasound that showed our baby was physically perfect so made the decision to continue with the pregnancy and bank on the ultrasound. Thankfully, we were right.
Later, the experts told us the amnio sample must have become contaminated in the lab and shared in our relief that our baby was okay. I was able to keep the pregnancy private because my husband accepted a 3-month position in New Zealand and we left Canada just as I started to show. I returned to Canada one week before my “no fly” limit so there wasn’t a lot of time between my return and the birth of our daughter.
LABOR AND DELIVERY
Did you take any childbirth classes? Why or why not?
No, I avoided them and anything to do with childbirth. Call it denial, I figured the less I knew in advance the better- lol!
Where did you give birth?
At the hospital.
What do you remember most about the birth experience?
What stands out most was the wonderful labor nurse I had who entertained me and made me laugh while we were waiting for me to reach that magic 4 cm so I could have the epidural.
I’M A MOM!
What concerns you most about being a mom over 35 and how do you compensate for this fear?
I guess for me, it’s the worry of dying before my daughter is ready to be on her own. I probably compensate for this with more denial. I just take it one day at a time knowing no other mother knows what her future holds either regardless of what her age is.
What do you enjoy most about being an older mom?
What I enjoy is how I can focus on her and not be concerned with becoming who I am. I’m already there so she definitely benefits from having a mom who has already “found” herself.
How has becoming a mom changed you?
I’m more relaxed about life in general and that amnio experience allowed me to appreciate all the normal growing pains as my daughter changed from infant to toddler, to preschooler to grade 1.
What advice do you have for women considering motherhood after 35?
I would tell them to go for it and not stress about the “what ifs”. Like I said before, when it comes right down to it, everyone’s life is a “crapshoot”. None of us knows what tomorrow will bring.