Age when you gave birth: Less than a week from 39 years old when I gave birth to my son
State of residence: Michigan
Current or former profession(s): Blogger/Editor at Late Bloomer Moms
How long were you trying to get pregnant?
About 2 years
What did you do or not do to increase your chances of getting pregnant after 35?
Progesterone, tried to eat healthy consistently and work out regularly. I drove myself nuts with charting, temping, etc. but it was all helpful in that I learned a LOT more about the human body than I’d ever thought I would!
How supportive were your doctors during your pregnancy?
They weren’t – I went to 3 different fertility specialists (one who had been my own GYN for over 10 years).
Did you change doctors or would like to have changed doctors?
I changed doctors because I was basically told – by all 3, including my regular GYN – that I would pretty much need “medical intervention” (i.e. IVF) in order to even get pregnant, let alone have a successful birth. I felt like they were just trying to fill their pocketbooks.
Family and Friends
What was the reaction of friends and family when you told me about your pregnancy?
They were all thrilled – many of my friends prayed with me, so they knew this was a big blessing for us!
We had miscarried after trying for months to get pregnant. So when we got pregnant again “just” 4 months later (the week of Thanksgiving) as excited as we were, we didn’t say anything at first. I told my mom on Christmas (at 8 weeks) only because I was already getting a bit of a belly. My mom cried tears of joy because I’m her baby and I was having a baby. And then I got knowing glances from my co-workers, but we didn’t confirm suspicions of co-workers and friends until we were in the 2nd trimester (end of January).
LABOR AND DELIVERY
What do you remember most about the birth experience?
It was LONG. I had every intention of having a natural birth if at all possible – we even hired a doula. But at about my 35th week my blood pressure was getting dangerously high. I had to have weekly ultrasounds, and then I wound up having to have my son about 2 weeks early. And he was NOT ready to come out. I labored without drugs for about 21 hours using a medicine ball, my doula massaging my back and helping me be as comfortable as possible when you’re in labor. Despite my best efforts, and as stubborn as I am, I finally just realized I needed a little “help.” Then one of the residents broke my water and I knew I was on the clock then. I wound up having a C-section.
I AM MOM!
What concerns you most about being a mom over 35 and how do you address these concerns?
Just having energy and prioritizing when I have a full-time career as well. I try to schedule everything and my weekends are for my family!
What do you enjoy most about being an older mom?
That I’m where I need to be. For me, getting married later and being an “older” mom is perfect timing for me. When I was younger, a friend of mine would lament about not being married or having kids yet when everyone else around us was. I said, “All on YOUR timetable.” I am greatly enjoying the new kind of fun my son brings into my life.
How has becoming a mom changed you?
I honestly did not know if motherhood was for me. But it’s the best kind of love there is in this world. My husband and I know our son is truly a blessing, especially considering our challenges to have him. I’m definitely more patient!
What advice do you have for women considering motherhood after 35?
Have faith. Have faith in what your body can do. I was told I had blocked tubes and endometriosis and low progesterone, etc. but I refused to believe I was already “too old” to have a baby naturally. Also, educate yourself. If I wasn’t stubborn, I would have just stopped at “well, we can’t have a baby unless we do IVF.” I did research on my own, modified my and my husband’s diets, and that helped a lot! Have a doctor/birthing team who has your best interests in mind!
Any additional comments?
Be flexible – know that things may not go according to plan. Work with your birthing team to find what works for you, but know that you may need to be open-minded.