Name: Francesca Kotomski
Ages when gave birth: 40 and 44
State of residence: Massachusetts
Children’s names : Lucas and Matthew
Current profession: Fitness instructor, personal trainer, instructor at career school http://www.francescakotomski.com/
How long were you trying to get pregnant?
I was trying 4 years.
What did you do or not do to increase your chances of getting pregnant after 40?
Slowed down, exercise, went BPA free bottles, meds and followed my cycle carefully.
The Medical Community
How supportive were your doctors during your pregnancy?
My ob was not supportive of older moms. I could tell and with the second one, I didn’t even see him until after the first trimester. I thought he would tell me something bad. And when he had the chance, he did! He was absolutely wrong! I was so glad he didn’t deliver Matthew. A female doc in his practice delivered Matthew.
Did you change doctors or would like to have changed doctors? Why or why not?
I only changed doctors from the IVF people to a very healthy Catholic doctor who used natural fertility methods. His methods are proven and it worked! I changed to this doctor because he had a very healthy and pro-life way to deal with fertility issues. After Matthew was born, I saw my non supportive Ob/GYN once. I switched for my GYN appointments to a regular doctor.
Family and Friends
What was the reaction of friends and family when you told me about your pregnancy?
Family and friends were supportive; although my mother said she was scared and felt that I was very lucky to have healthy kids “at this age.” She said that more than once. But everyone was very happy.
LABOR AND DELIVERY
Did you take any childbirth classes? Why or why not?
Yes, I took a class for the first baby. Then after the first one, I realized that most of what I learned didn’t seem to apply! Giving birth is fairly natural and the nurses coach you through.
What do you remember most about the birth experience?
The first one was induced, long and painful and I had epidural. The second was quick and painful but with no epidural because it was so quick. What I remember most: pain and then happiness to see my baby.
I’M A MOM
What concerns you most about being a mom over 35 and how do you address these concerns?
The future is my concern, getting older, slowly down naturally, as well as retirement as they enter college. Hopefully, I can give my children enough lively exciting experiences.
What do you enjoy most about being an older mom?
Feeling more settled in who I am, stronger in my will to do the right thing! It’s good to know others who are in the same place.
How has becoming a mom changed you?
I appreciate the little things. I appreciate when I get time alone and quiet time. It’s slowed me down, but that’s good.
What advice do you have for women considering motherhood after 35?
Get into good, healthy shape. You will need to be strong in will as you deal with others ideas of a younger mom vs older mom. You also need to be physically able to handle the demands of an additional person who depends on you.
Do you have any additional comments?
I like to surround myself with other moms and support groups to do play groups or library groups. I work hard to attain a balance between professional life and time with my little guy, especially before he goes into school. That’s a big struggle because I want more out of my professional life and I realize that time as a young child is short. So, older moms will have that struggle as they are settled into their career.
I think it’s best for moms to be open to changing their hours or the way they do work. I work a variety of hours and that helps with my balancing act. Also, doing exercise at home through the home workouts saves me a lot of time. And, allows my children to participate in programs that are scheduled the same time as traditional gym classes.
InSeason Mom Cynthia would like to thank InSeason Mom Francesca for sharing her story and for being an inspiration to all of us. To learn more about Francesca’s fitness and personal training program, visit http://www.francescakotomski.com/