In Season Mom

Michelle-Pregnant Naturally Over 40 After Miscarriage

By August 2, 2017 Blog, Featured Home, Featured Moms, Uncategorized

Name: Michelle

Age when gave birth :  45

State of residence: Arizona

Child’s name : Nathanael

Current or former profession(s): Actress/Model and Real Estate Agent

 

PREGNANCY

How long were you trying to get pregnant? 

Two years – I lost a baby at 42 and had Nathanel at 45.

What did you do or not do to increase your chances of getting pregnant after 40?  

Having a very shaman/spiritual life, I was doing sweats and eating very clean and having regular balancing treatments.  I don’t eat a lot of processed foods. I walked, meditated and stayed very positive in my belief that I could manifest another baby.  Once I released the fear, I was able to receive the gift of pregnancy.

SUPPORT

Medical Community

How supportive were your doctors during your pregnancy?

Very supportive

Did you change doctors or would like to have changed doctors? Why or why not? 

If I had had doctors who didn’t support me or believe in the idea of having a baby after 40, yes I would have changed. I felt very blessed because I had great doctors and nurses.

 Family and friends

What was the reaction of friends and family when you told me about your pregnancy?

They were all very excited for me.

LABOR AND DELIVERY

Did you take any childbirth classes? Why or why not? 

Yes, we went to a birthing class once.

What do you remember most about the birth experience? 

For me it was awesome! I was in a car accident when I was 6 months pregnant. I was extremely worried because at age 42 I lost a little girl (miscarriage). I was 18 or so weeks into this pregnancy when I started to have some contractions from the car accident. I began going to an acupuncturist, massage/cranial sacral person and a chiropractor which helped greatly!

I could tell that he (Nathanael) wanted to come early. So I kept telling him that was fine, and that he could only enter this world if he was able to come home with me from the hospital.  I had dropped my husband off and went to an acupuncture appointment and then to the hospital for a routine check-up to see how Nathanael was doing.

I went into the bathroom as I always did, but didn’t seem to stop peeing.  I came out and told the nurses this and it all started—34-35 weeks into the pregnancy! I was only in labor for 8 hours and opted not to have any drugs. Around 8-9 cementers, I decided that may not have been the best choice, but by that point it was too late (lol)! He came out and all was good, except no one had prepared me for having to deliver the placenta. I was a bit overwhelmed at that idea(lol).

I AM MOM

Michelle2

What concerns you most about being a mom over 35 and how do you address these concerns? 

Not being here for him when he is older and not have family to connect with.  I enjoy every moment and trust.

What do you enjoy most about being an older mom? 

I enjoy being in a better place with myself which allows me to have more patience and understanding toward Nathanael.

How has becoming a mom changed you?  

In every way! For me there has been no greater honor than becoming a mom! We have the chance to help shape our world by raising amazing, loving creative little souls.

What advice do you have for women considering motherhood after 35? 

Take care of yourself and never stop believing and trusting. Eat healthy foods.   I am of a mindset that in many regards, we have been brainwashed as women to believe certain things. There is so much fear out there. We create fear in our lives by hearing and believing it.

I am not saying to wait if you don’t have too (become a mother) but if you have to, work towards trusting and believing.  Take care of you; anything is possible. Don’t allow others to create the fear that they know better; better than something higher and more profound at work in this process.  I was blessed because all my doctors gave the power to God/Higher power not to the medical world and statistics.

 

 

Hawaii First Time Mom at 40 Cat Pregnant Naturally

By July 25, 2017 Blog, Featured Home, Featured Moms, First-Time Expectant Mom Over 40, Popular Posts, Uncategorized

 

Name:  Cat

Age when you gave birth: 40

State of residence:  Hawaii

Child’s name : Sagan

Current profession:  Entrepreneur, vocal coach/mentor

PREGNANCY

How long were you trying to get pregnant?  

I was trying 14 months.

What did you do or not do to increase your chances of getting pregnant after 40?

After the first three months of trying, I started eating healthier, eliminated coffee–my weakness.  I walked a mile to work almost daily for seven months. I aimed to stay calm and not stress so much while working with Cynthia(coaching services) at InSeason Mom to gain perspective. As we approached the one year-mark with no pregnancy, I tried acupuncture.  After two acupuncture treatments, we visited my OB for an annual exam, and my OB recommended a fertility specialist. We booked the specialist not knowing I was already pregnant! When I later tested positive, we were elated! Call it serendipity, our patience paid off!  I continued with acupuncture until my daughter’s delivery.

SUPPORT

How supportive were your doctors during your pregnancy? 

My OB had no qualms about me trying acupuncture. She pushed us to start conceiving ASAP when she knew I was 38. She warned me it might take some time.  She was super-supportive yet matter-of-fact. It was tough to hear the truth but we took the risk any way!

Did you change doctors or would like to have changed doctors? Why or why not?

We had a good relationship with our doctor, and we trusted her. It took me years to find just the right one.  I believe that when the hope of having a child grew strong in our hearts, we were led to her. Word-of-mouth!  She was perfect for us.

What was the reaction of friends and family when you told me about your pregnancy?

Absolutely ecstatic! My mom laughed and cried.  My younger brother didn’t believe me; he figured that after 39 years, having no children thus far, that children were not in my future.  Was he in shock, but he was extremely happy! Our circle was very supportive. In fact, a few of my friends are having their first children after 35.  What’s “normal” anyway?

LABOR AND DELIVERY

What do you remember most about the birth experience?

Our baby came on her due date. We had a great staff. We thought we were going to lose our daughter when she went under fetal distress early on. So I stayed open to the process and had an epidural.  I learned to trust the experts and my doctor; they were fabulous. I allowed them to use their wisdom and experience to allow my baby to come through.  Her health and safety were my number one concern! My husband was super-supportive and never left my side. It took work, patience, and an openness to do whatever was necessary to deliver the child. I gave birth naturally and was mostly surrounded women in the birthing process. This reminded me of how strong women truly are… it takes a village.

I’M A MOMCatbaby6n

What concerns you most about being a mom over 35 and how do you address these concerns?

My only concern is that I have the energy, strength, and will to be the parent she needs. Besides that, I’d like to live as long as possible to be there for all her critical moments, her firsts, her successes, and even her disappointments. The world is changing so quickly but I want her to inherit some good common sense and be equipped to handle things.  Being 40 means she has a great mentor, teacher, and a never-ending well of support, love and care.

What do you enjoy most about being an older mom?

I have no urge to party or impress others. I am calm, more patient.  I know my priorities and enjoy the quiet, sacred moments, and I can say “no” to things. I choose my time with her and my husband with a level of wisdom and freedom that I would not have had at a younger age.  I know myself. I don’t feel like I’m missing out on anything.  In fact, this is a new chapter I am embracing wholeheartedly. I feel I can mentor her and love her on a level that my parents did not.  We (my husband and I) can create a new reality and family dynamic.  I’m glad I worked on my career when I did because now I can enjoy the fresh air of parenthood by slowing down and being engaged more consciously.  I feel I’ve earned it. And I’m still learning!  Oprah Winfrey once said: “You can have it all.  Just not all at once.”

How has becoming a mom changed you?

You learn “selflessness” very quickly, and I look at my child and want to give her the world.  Time is precious, especially when you run a business like I do. You manage your time more intentionally and learn to focus on what matters. You find a way to sacrifice certain things and make things happen!  Raising a child is a privilege and a blessing.

What advice do you have for women considering motherhood after 35? 

Go for it.  Don’t waste time on the past.  Get healthy, stay healthy, and surround yourself with people who support your Path. By all means, look at your options, there is no one way to conception.  And have a life!  It’s when you least expect it to happen that the miracle happens!

First Time Mom 35+Jennifer Workman-Faith and Fertility

By July 25, 2017 Blog, Featured Home, Featured Moms, Getting Pregnant After 35 and 40, Uncategorized

Name: Jennifer Workman (pictured above with son)

Age when you gave birth: 37

State/Country of residence: Columbia, SC

Child’s name and age: Jaarr

Current or former profession(s): Author, Inspirational Speaker, Entrepreneur, Playwright http://jyworkman.wix.com/jennifer

PREGNANCY

How long were you trying to get pregnant?

I didn’t have a set time.  When it needed to happen, the Lord blessed me to have my son. That’s the best way I can explain it!

What did you do or not do to increase your chances of getting pregnant after 35?

Positive thinking and speaking it into existence for the Bible states emphatically that “life and death is in the power of the tongue (Proverbs 18:21, NIV).”

SUPPORT

Medical Community 

How supportive were your doctors during your pregnancy?

I was thankful to have a very experienced and compassionate group of people in the medical field around me. They made the process so much easier as I was going through my pregnancy. They were willing to answer any questions or concerns that I had. I’m grateful for the experience.

Did you change doctors or would like to have changed doctors? Why or why not?

I kept the same doctors through the process and I wouldn’t have had it any other way!

Family and Friends

What was the reaction of friends and family when you told them about your pregnancy?

My family was very happy for me especially my mother because she was waiting for a long time for me to have children and was very supportive and helpful.

LABOR AND DELIVERY 

What do you remember most about the birth experience?

The birth experience was slightly scary as this was my first time. But to my surprise, the Lord blessed it to be a smooth transition.  I did have a caesarean section which was very uncomfortable. Other than that, to see my beautiful baby boy and to hear his melodious cry made it all worthwhile! I would do it all over again!

I AM MOM!
jen and son (2)

What concerns you most about being a mom over 35 and how do you address these concerns?

I really don’t have many concerns. I pray the Lord gives me the strength at 40+ and patience to be a good mom and to be able to do all the things for my son as any other parent. Other than that, I am okay and I pretty much go with the flow.

What do you enjoy most about being an older mom?

I thank God for the wisdom that he has given me to impart to my son at this age that I may not have been able to do at an earlier age. I am just more settled minded at this age and I believe that this is both beneficial to myself as well as my son.

How has becoming a mom changed you?

Being a mom has changed me in many ways and has given me more focus for life. All before, I was more individually focused. Now, I have a child that’s dependent upon me. My love has expanded and my desire is to be a good mom, good role model and example for him and others to follow. I recognize that he’s learning from what he sees, patterned by myself and his father. I don’t take this lightly!

What advice do you have for women considering motherhood after 35?

Don’t fear having children or parenting after 40 for it is a great and rewarding experience. God doesn’t make mistakes. If He has given you the opportunity, at this venture in your life, to be a parent, know that He has entrusted you to be a good mother. Utilize what He has equipped you with the best you can. All that matters is He loves you and will help you along the way!

Additional comments?

Cynthia’s note: Below is an article Bouncing Baby Boy: The Joys of toddlers Growth and Development  Jennifer wrote about her son Jaarr:

jen and son (1)

 

“Oh, the joys of motherhood!”  I am so thankful for the great privilege and opportunity that I’ve been given to raise a strong, courageous, rambunctious and gifted little boy. The Lord blessed me with my son (Jaarr) on March 25th, 2012 and ever since, it has been a rich, full and rewarding experience. But, what has made it an even more enjoyable experience was when I noticed several months ago, my toddler constantly bouncing and “boogeing” to every genre of music. He loves music! It doesn’t matter what is transpiring during the day. If he hears music, he will stop what he is doing altogether and begin to dance all around the house.

“And I do mean boogie.” With legs lifted, arms extended, shoulder jerking motions, and all, he “parties like it’s nineteen ninety nine.” It is the funniest thing to behold and if I am feeling hard-pressed and tired from a long day, seeing him makes me “laugh exuberantly.

Not only does my son participate in this form of “active play” but he encourages my active participation in the process. I think I may have a professional dancer in the making or is that just “my wishful thinking?” I believe that whether he is a dancer, doctor, lawyer, and/or preacher, he is going to make a great contribution to the world!

In the meantime, I am going to continue to educate, motivate and cultivate an atmosphere of “active play” that is essential to his overall physical, psychological and emotional development. Furthermore, if he chooses to dance, then dance it is. If he wants to play, then play it is. Or, if he wants to read, write, or otherwise, then “so be it.” Children are like “sponges” and “soak up” everything around them. In other words, they are constantly learning from their environment. That is why we as parents must give them the freewill to explore and learn.

 

Pregnancy Over 40 Good News Support-Coaching

By June 11, 2017 Featured Home, Uncategorized

Pregnancy Over 40 Good News Coaching-Live Support will help you counter the negative opinion-based news you’ve heard from your friends, your Aunt Amy and from other family members about pregnancy after 35. Former Childbirth Educator and experienced first time mom over 40 of two healthy babies offers you support.

What is Pregnancy Over 40 Good News Coaching?

“Pregnancy Over 40 Coaching is the live support I wished I had when I was pregnant,” says Cynthia, founder of InSeason Mom who married at 40, conceived naturally, gave birth at 42 and 44 to healthy babies.

Featured Mom Cat calls my live support “Hope Calls. Faith Walks.” I like that name”, says Cynthia. “I was blessed with the opportunity to support her through preconception, pregnancy, and birth.”

The 4-week live support includes:

-35 minutes of emotional support via telephone for 4 consecutive weeks

-Unlimited email for 4 consecutive weeks

-Action steps to help overcome your fears of becoming a mom over 40

-Information to dispel your misconceptions about motherhood in your 40s

-A good news story about a first time mom over 40 emailed weekly

-Live support from InSeason Mom Founder and Former Childbirth Educator Cynthia; a woman who can relate to the doubts you’re feeling

Who benefits from Pregnancy Over 40 Good News Coaching?

Expectant mothers in their 40s and moms-to- be over 35 who are in their second trimester of pregnancy.  Women over 35 who are considering becoming pregnant.

How will Pregnancy Over 40 Good News Coaching Help Ease My Motherhood Fears?

There’s not an expectant mom alive who hasn’t experienced some anxiety about her baby. As an expectant mom over 40, you’re hit with a double dose of anxiety. You worry about your baby’s health and you worry about the role your age will play once the baby arrives. You wonder if all the bad news about becoming a first time mom over 40 is true.

In this support program, you will learn the truth about popular misconceptions about birth and motherhood after 35 and even 40. You’ll discover tips to help combat your fears and to help you gain confidence.

Does the live support take the place of psychotherapy, professional counseling or medical advice?

No, the live support InSeason Mom Founder and Former Childbirth Educator Cynthia provides  is exclusively for emotional support and doesn’t take the place of psychotherapy or professional counseling.  It doesn’t constitute or is a substitution for medical advice from your physician or health care professional.

The information she provides is necessarily selective and deals with only some of the issues you may wish to consider as an expectant mom.

Cynthia shares her expertise as someone who has walked your path.

What does the Pregnancy Over 40 Good News Coaching include again?

The 4-week live support includes:

-35 minutes of emotional support via telephone for 4 consecutive weeks

-Unlimited email support for 4 consecutive weeks

-Action steps to help overcome your fears of becoming a mom over 40

-Information to dispel your misconceptions about motherhood in your 40s

-A good news story about a first time mom over 40 emailed weekly

-Live support from InSeason Mom Founder and Former Childbirth Educator Cynthia who gave birth at age 42 and 44 to healthy babies; a woman who can relate to the doubts you’re feeling

What is the cost for Pregnancy Over 40 Good News Coaching?

Currently, the cost is only $375 for the 4- week live support with Cynthia. Once you purchase the support, Cynthia will email you to arrange a time and date to start your live support. 


Have questions about Pregnancy Over 40 Good News Coaching?Email cynthia@inseasonmom.org  or inseasonmom@gmail.com

Susan of New Jersey Becomes First Time Mom at 41

By May 12, 2017 Blog, Featured Moms

Name: Susan

Age when you gave birth: 41

State of residence: New Jersey

Child’s name: Chad

Current or former profession: Social Worker

PREGNANCY

How long were you trying to get pregnant?

We were trying to get pregnant for about 8 months and we got pregnant naturally in March 2010. Unfortunately, that pregnancy ended in a miscarriage at 10 weeks. We began trying again in the Fall of 2010 and conceived our son in July 2011.

What did you do or not do to increase your chances of getting pregnant after 40?

Initially, when we were first trying to conceive (when I was 39), we didn’t do anything. Then we began to do BBT charting, ovulation kits and all that goes along with trying to conceive naturally. That is when we conceived the first time. After the miscarriage, we started out pretty much the same. Neither one of us was chomping at the bit to pursue the medical route to conceiving but it became clear to us that if we wanted to be parents, we needed to at least explore all of the available options.

So in April of  2011, we began looking into adoption. We were (and still are) interested in welcoming a child from the foster care system into our family. My husband has always wanted to adopt. I can’t say it’s something I always wanted to do, but I am certainly open to it; especially given all of the children that languish in the foster care system without ever knowing the love and nurturing of a family. It wasn’t about us having a biological child, necessarily. It was about sharing the love we had in our hearts with a child who really needed it.

We also decided to get information about where we were medically, too. In May of 2011, we decided to see a reproductive endocrinologist (RE) to get the preliminary testing. My husband had a semen analysis and I had my hormones tested and a hysterosalpingogram.

My husband’s sperm count was normal and my tests were normal for “my age.” We were given the “unexplained infertility” diagnosis that is both hopeful and infuriating!! The RE did not feel we needed to do anything aggressive because I did not have any barriers truly preventing me from becoming pregnant. We were presented with the option of doing rounds of Clomid with an intrauterine insemination. I should pause here to say that my husband and I are people with a strong Christian faith. We’d always believed that if the Lord wanted to bless us with a family, He would do so in His way and in His timing. This we were clear on.

Venturing into the realm of medically assisted conception was concerning for us because we wanted to be careful not to tread in His territory, so­ to ­speak. After much prayer and seeking godly counsel, we came to the conclusion that our inability to conceive was a medical issue, just like diabetes or asthma (conditions my husband and I have, respectively). We seek available treatment for that to live healthy lives. That is how we believe God provides treatment/healing ­­ through the knowledge and wisdom He gives medical personnel. So we felt comfortable with this level of treatment to address our inability to conceive. And the bottom line to us was that if it wasn’t His will, no amount of treatment would allow us to conceive. So we went forward and conceived our son on the first round of treatment. Our RE marveled  because he said that it was exceedingly rare.

MEDICAL COMMUNITY

 

How supportive were your doctors during your pregnancy?

That was truly a mixed bag. I felt decidedly unsupported during my first regular OB visit. My OB is a no­nonsense, blunt kind of doctor, something I was not particularly appreciative of during my first OB visit, after a miscarriage, and being of “advanced maternal age.” I was expecting her to congratulate me and to be excited with me. Instead, she let me know that because of my age I had a 50% chance of miscarrying during the first trimester and I had an increased chance of having a child with a birth defect because I was 40. She was appalled that my husband and I were opting not to have any invasive testing done. She related a story of how one of her patients “foolishly” didn’t have testing and was devastated when her child was born with Down Syndrome.

I explained to her that my husband and I were committed to this pregnancy no matter. The testing would only serve to add additional anxiety. I wanted to enjoy my pregnancy and I didn’t want to risk, however small, an invasive test that could cause a miscarriage. After my first appointment, I literally cried in the parking lot!

On the other hand, I absolutely LOVED my perinatalogist. He was a kind, older OB who was very experienced with older moms. He made my pregnancy seem like the most natural thing in the world despite being a doctor that specializes in high ­risk pregnancies. He was so encouraging and reassuring. And most importantly, he respected our decision to not do any invasive tests.

Did you change doctors or would like to have changed doctors? Why or why not?

I came very close to changing OB’s. I attempted to make an appointment with an OB that a doctor friend recommended but I would have been 16 weeks along before she could see me. So I decided to stay with the practice I was already with. I reasoned that I only had a 25% chance of delivering with the OB I had a negative experience with and I liked the other OB’s and NP’s in the practice. As the months passed, I realized I needed to at least see this other “dreaded” OB to get to know her in case she did end up delivering our baby.

As I got to know her, I actually grew to appreciate her forthrightness. I found her to be much more confident and accurate in her assessments than the other OB’s. I truly trusted her competency. I wouldn’t choose her to be my friend but I did choose her to deliver my baby when I found out I had to have a scheduled c-­section!

FAMILY AND FRIENDS

What was the reaction of friends and family when you told me about your pregnancy?

Overjoyed!! Everyone was supportive, excited, and hopeful!

LABOR AND DELIVERY

Did you take any childbirth classes? Why or why not?

We opted to take childbirth classes because at the time, I didn’t know if I would have natural childbirth or have an epidural. We felt that even if we decided to go with an epidural, the breathing techniques would be helpful to cope with labor. Little did we know we wouldn’t need it at all!

At 36 weeks I was informed that my little sweet pea (as we called him) was more like a lima bean and that I would need to have a C-­section. They estimated that he was at least 9 pounds and could be anywhere up to 11. Since I’d never given birth before, they had some major concerns about shoulder dystocia. I delivered my son via planned C-­section 5 days before his official due date. He weighed 9.5 lbs.

What do you remember most about the birth experience?

Two things: It was (and still is) mind boggling. It truly is a miracle of God. One moment your child is inside of you. He is more of a notion than a reality. The next moment you have this living, breathing person in front of you.. The other is that it’s weird not knowing what labor or contractions feel like. After 9 months of waiting, I didn’t have to (get to) experience what is usually the culmination of pregnancy. I’m not complaining. It’s just weird.

I AM MOM

What concerns you most about being a mom over 35 and how do you address these concerns?

Living long enough to see my son grow up and have his own family is a great concern to me. I address it by taking care of the things that are within my control. I am trying to lose weight, exercise and eat healthier. The rest of it is in God’s hands!

What do you enjoy most about being an older mom?

Having never been a younger mom, it’s difficult to know how it’s different but I think that I am wiser (or at least I hope so). I don’t feel like I’m missing anything as a younger woman might think. I think having experienced infertility and a loss has more of an impact on my enjoyment in being a mother than my age. This is something I longed for. That longing has been fulfilled and I am enjoying being a mom way more than I could have dreamed or imagined. It truly brings me joy. I am grateful every single day. I see my child as a blessing, not a burden.

How has becoming a mom changed you?

It has made me slow down and live in the moment more. There is no “rush, rush, rush” with a baby. I am less selfish.

What advice do you have for women considering motherhood after 35?

Don’t focus on the increased odds of having a child with birth defects. At 40, your chances of having a baby with Down Syndrome goes from significantly less than 1 % to like 2%. Yes, but that still means that you have a 98% chance of having a baby without Down Syndrome. All negative statistics have a positive flip side. Focus on that!

 

Sheryl’s Over 40 Pregnancy and Birth Story

By March 20, 2017 Uncategorized
Name:  Sheryl Taylor

Age when you gave birth: 45 (just 5 days before 46th birthday)

State/Country of residence:  Georgia

Child’s name : Charlize Taylor (daughter)

Current or former profession(s):  Realtor, Bank Treasury Officer, currently a stay-at-home mom and blogger at happilyeverafterthesedays.com

PREGNANCY

How long were you trying to get pregnant?

We started when I was 42 and got pregnant within 3 months, but lost the pregnancy at 6 weeks in a miscarriage.  I had been using progesterone cream, but stopped when I read on the label to discontinue use if pregnant.  I realized after the fact, the immediate lowering of progesterone may have contributed to the miscarriage. Sadly, I was not educated about the matter before my miscarriage.  Then we tried naturally for 3 years before going to a fertility doctor.  He advised IVF and we got pregnant with the first transfer, so the total number of years of trying was about 3 1/2 years.

What did you do or not do to increase your chances of getting pregnant after 35?

Everything I read recommended healthy eating, exercise and to try to lose weight, which I did.  I also turned to herbs, specific foods and supplements that are known to increase the chances of conception such as wheatgrass, progesterone cream, and lots of avocado.  I also received acupuncture, which made me feel great.

My acupuncturist is actually who finally convinced me to visit a fertility clinic.  She was not pushy about it. Her supportive and calm nature is what helped me to be open to what they had to say.  She also shared her faith with me in the same non-aggressive manner and this helped me to have faith as well.

Even after we decided to use a fertility doctor for IVF treatment, I continued to see the acupuncturist.  She did a treatment right after my IVF transfer.  I really think it contributed to our conception at the first IVF treatment.  I’ve read many stories of women who tried multiple IVF treatments before conceiving or who never conceived from the treatments at all.

SUPPORT

Medical Community  

How supportive were your doctors during your pregnancy?  

During my first pregnancy that ended in miscarriage, I didn’t feel the first doctor was supportive.  She was a young doctor who took over my old OB/GYN’s practice when he retired.  We had not know each other long when I told her about our plans to get pregnant at 42.  She highly discouraged it at my “advanced maternal age”.  She did send me to a high risk doctor for a consultation, where he tried to scare me with very negative statistics about older mothers and birth defects.

Did you change doctors or would like to have changed doctors? Why or why not?

After the miscarriage, I researched OB/GYNs in my area and found one who stated in her bio that she worked with mothers of advanced maternal age. In fact, she had her daughter when she was over 40.  She was very supportive during our initial consultion as well as through out my pregnancy.  However, she was strict with me and always very honest, even if I didn’t want to hear what she had to say.  I appreciated her compassion, straightforwardness and professionalism.  It greatly contributed to us finally having a healthy, happy child.

Family and Friends

What was the reaction of friends and family when you told them about your pregnancy?

We told a few family members and friends when we decided to try IVF as a way to get pregnant.  Their reactions were a mix of being concerned, some supportiveness and some not-so-supportiveness.

My youngest stepdaughter lived with us at the time. I told her about her father and my plans to try to conceive.  The progesterone shots made me very emotional and I thought she might need to know in order to understand my crankiness.  She shared the information with her older sister who lived with their mom in another state.  She wrote her dad a letter expressing her feelings and how he would be a grandfather in a few years.  However, she wasn’t the only family member or friend who shared that they felt we were too old to have a baby.

Once everyone saw that I made it through the pregnancy and delivery just fine, they only expressed support.  The older daughters love their little sister and she adores them as well.

Labor and Delivery

What do you remember most about the birth experience?

My doctor induced me a week early because my liver enzymes was a little high.  I also developed gestational diabetes during the 7th month of pregnancy.  My doctor put me on bed rest for the remainder of the pregnancy due to the high level of stress in my then-sales’ job.

I remember everything feeling so surreal.  After all of these years, I was going to have a baby!  I was going to have a baby.  My childhood dream was finally coming true!

There are no words to truly describe how I felt when they laid my beautiful baby girl on my chest.  I was finally a mom!

I AM MOM

What concerns you most about being a mom over 35 and how do you address these concerns?

My husband and I both have the same main concern that most all older parents have.  Will we be around long enough?  Will we be here for her well into her adulthood?

We both address any life concerns with praying, educating ourselves, and talking it through with each other as well as others who might be familiar with the situation.  We’ve not only worked on our child having a relationship with all of our family members, but also our extended family such as her God parents, other church friends and even our neighbors who have children.

We have a very detailed will written which outlines who will take care of our child if anything happens to us.  My husband and I try to eat healthy as well as get exercise individually and as a family.  Last, but not least, we teach our child about our faith, our values, and our love so she has a foundation to stand upon independently, if we are not around long enough.

What do you enjoy most about being an older mom?

I definitely enjoy being in a place financially that I can stay at home with our daughter.  If I had her in my younger years, I wouldn’t be in a position to stay home with her.  Also, even if I still worked,  I would still appreciate being a mom more than when I was younger.  I don’t sweat the small stuff as much as I did when I was younger.  I’ve learned if I need to leave dirty dishes in the sink so I can play with our daughter, the dishes will still be there in the morning.

How has becoming a mom changed you?

I am no longer a perfectionist when it comes to having a spotless house.  As I mentioned earlier, I’ve learned not to stress as much about daily tasks.

I’ve also learned not to be as judgmental of others.  Before I was a mom, I didn’t understand why my friends who were moms couldn’t “get everything done” for the day.  I didn’t think about that a mom has to deal with unscheduled things like a toddler tantrum, a scraped knee, or spilled juice on the floor you just mopped.

What advice do you have for women considering motherhood after 35? 

My personal experience of having a child after 35 wasn’t really a choice.  Or maybe it was?  I married at 20 years old the first time and then divorced him when I turned 33.  I dated, but didn’t choose to remarry until a few months after my 40th birthday.

I just didn’t feel it would be in a child’s best interest to bring them into the life I could offer until I married my husband.  I was able to see the father he already was to his older two daughters.  I finally felt comfortable having a child with someone.

My advice would be, if you want children and are in the right situation, go ahead and have them while you are younger.  If you find yourself already 35 or older and want children, make it happen.  Everyone’s journey to parenthood is different.  Be open-minded.

I’ve known friends over 35 who only wanted to conceive under their own terms.  I’ve also know friends who have been open-minded enough to try herbs, acupuncture, and many other things that helped them to conceive naturally, in time.

Finally, I’ve also known friends who were open to medical help such as IUI or IVF (which we did and were successful).  Then, there are other friends who grew their family through adoption, sometimes adopting an infant, older child or sibling group.  Regardless of which path they chose, the ones who were open minded became parents, even if it wasn’t how they originally planned.

Additional comments?

God Bless and lots of baby dust to you!