In Season Mom

Meet Mom Audrey

By October 7, 2016 Blog, Featured Home, Featured Moms


Name:
 Audrey

Age when you gave birth:  36

State of residence:  Missouri

Child’s name and age:  Ryan, age 8

Current or former profession(s):  Speech-Language Pathologist, Blogger http://www.cremescometrue.com/

PREGNANCY 

How long were you trying to get pregnant?

We weren’t trying at the time.

What did you do or not do to increase your chances of getting pregnant after 35?

I didn’t do anything.  Not long before I became pregnant with Ryan, I had a miscarriage.  That experience made me not want to try to get pregnant again.  So, I was quite shocked when I got a positive result on a home pregnancy test.

SUPPORT 

Medical

How supportive were your doctors during your pregnancy?

I was extremely nervous about getting pregnant so soon after miscarriage, and I had many questions for my doctor.  He and his staff were PHENOMENAL, taking each of my concerns seriously and going above and beyond to calm my fears.

Did you change doctors or would like to have changed doctors?

Nope, wouldn’t have even thought about it!

Family and Friends

What was the reaction of friends and family when you told me about your pregnancy?

I think we were all in shock!  Of course everyone was thrilled, but really surprised.

LABOR AND DELIVERY

What do you remember most about the birth experience?

I had a C-Section, and honestly, I remember looking at Ryan who was to my right with a nurse and my husband.  Once I knew he was OK, I knew I needed to focus on me.  I felt very weak, like I could pass out.  I have a strong memory of talking myself into staying conscious.  And I did! Once I did this, since I had no complications, I was quickly on my way to holding Ryan for the first time.

 I AM MOM!

What concerns you most about being a mom over 35 and how do you address these concerns?

His energy level is beyond amazing.  Now at 45, I have an eight-year-old boy to keep up with, and it’s not always easy.  I try to always remember that he is keeping me active, and maybe even keeping me feeling young.

What do you enjoy most about being an older mom?

I feel like I have much better advice to share with my son than I would have in my 20’s.  There’s a lot to be said for the value of life experience.

How has becoming a mom changed you?  Suddenly, I became last on my list of priorities.  Since becoming a mom, I have to make a point to move myself to the top of the list now and then.

What advice do you have for women considering motherhood after 35?  Audrey (1)

Motherhood at any age has its own set of challenges.  No matter what your age, it will change your life.  If you want it, go for it!

Trying to Conceive Coping Tips Ebook

By September 23, 2016 Blog, Featured Home

booktable_nQuick-read guide offering 30+ practical spiritual, mental and physical tips to cope while trying to conceive in your 40s. No depressing medical jargon or statistics. Written by author who conceived naturally, gave birth at ages 42 and 44 to healthy babies.

Becoming A Mom in Your 40s Myths Still Strong

By August 29, 2016 Articles, Popular Posts

Although I’ve added some new content to this post, originally Midlife Motherhood Myths Dispelled by a Midlife Mom, the main content is still as timely and relevant as it was years ago. Why are these myths still popular?

This morning I just saw/read a Hot Celebrity Moms who gave birth in their 40s list.  Halle Berry is holding firm to her spot on the list  followed by Salma Hayek.  I don’t understand how the myths still linger while being so far from the truth. Here are three of the most common misconceptions. Read More

Meet Mom Jennifer Workman

By July 1, 2016 Blog, Featured Home, Featured Moms, Getting Pregnant After 35 and 40, Uncategorized

Name: Jennifer Workman (pictured above with son)

Age when you gave birth: 37

State/Country of residence: Columbia, SC

Child’s name and age: Jaarr

Current or former profession(s): Author, Inspirational Speaker, Entrepreneur, Playwright http://jyworkman.wix.com/jennifer

PREGNANCY

How long were you trying to get pregnant?

I didn’t have a set time.  When it needed to happen, the Lord blessed me to have my son. That’s the best way I can explain it!

What did you do or not do to increase your chances of getting pregnant after 35?

Positive thinking and speaking it into existence for the Bible states emphatically that “life and death is in the power of the tongue (Proverbs 18:21, NIV).”

SUPPORT

Medical Community 

How supportive were your doctors during your pregnancy?

I was thankful to have a very experienced and compassionate group of people in the medical field around me. They made the process so much easier as I was going through my pregnancy. They were willing to answer any questions or concerns that I had. I’m grateful for the experience.

Did you change doctors or would like to have changed doctors? Why or why not?

I kept the same doctors through the process and I wouldn’t have had it any other way!

Family and Friends

What was the reaction of friends and family when you told them about your pregnancy?

My family was very happy for me especially my mother because she was waiting for a long time for me to have children and was very supportive and helpful.

LABOR AND DELIVERY 

What do you remember most about the birth experience?

The birth experience was slightly scary as this was my first time. But to my surprise, the Lord blessed it to be a smooth transition.  I did have a caesarean section which was very uncomfortable. Other than that, to see my beautiful baby boy and to hear his melodious cry made it all worthwhile! I would do it all over again!

I AM MOM!
jen and son (2)

What concerns you most about being a mom over 35 and how do you address these concerns?

I really don’t have many concerns. I pray the Lord gives me the strength at 40+ and patience to be a good mom and to be able to do all the things for my son as any other parent. Other than that, I am okay and I pretty much go with the flow.

What do you enjoy most about being an older mom?

I thank God for the wisdom that he has given me to impart to my son at this age that I may not have been able to do at an earlier age. I am just more settled minded at this age and I believe that this is both beneficial to myself as well as my son.

How has becoming a mom changed you?

Being a mom has changed me in many ways and has given me more focus for life. All before, I was more individually focused. Now, I have a child that’s dependent upon me. My love has expanded and my desire is to be a good mom, good role model and example for him and others to follow. I recognize that he’s learning from what he sees, patterned by myself and his father. I don’t take this lightly!

What advice do you have for women considering motherhood after 35?

Don’t fear having children or parenting after 40 for it is a great and rewarding experience. God doesn’t make mistakes. If He has given you the opportunity, at this venture in your life, to be a parent, know that He has entrusted you to be a good mother. Utilize what He has equipped you with the best you can. All that matters is He loves you and will help you along the way!

Additional comments?

Cynthia’s note: Below is an article Bouncing Baby Boy: The Joys of toddlers Growth and Development  Jennifer wrote about her son Jaarr:

jen and son (1)

 

“Oh, the joys of motherhood!”  I am so thankful for the great privilege and opportunity that I’ve been given to raise a strong, courageous, rambunctious and gifted little boy. The Lord blessed me with my son (Jaarr) on March 25th, 2012 and ever since, it has been a rich, full and rewarding experience. But, what has made it an even more enjoyable experience was when I noticed several months ago, my toddler constantly bouncing and “boogeing” to every genre of music. He loves music! It doesn’t matter what is transpiring during the day. If he hears music, he will stop what he is doing altogether and begin to dance all around the house.

“And I do mean boogie.” With legs lifted, arms extended, shoulder jerking motions, and all, he “parties like it’s nineteen ninety nine.” It is the funniest thing to behold and if I am feeling hard-pressed and tired from a long day, seeing him makes me “laugh exuberantly.

Not only does my son participate in this form of “active play” but he encourages my active participation in the process. I think I may have a professional dancer in the making or is that just “my wishful thinking?” I believe that whether he is a dancer, doctor, lawyer, and/or preacher, he is going to make a great contribution to the world!

In the meantime, I am going to continue to educate, motivate and cultivate an atmosphere of “active play” that is essential to his overall physical, psychological and emotional development. Furthermore, if he chooses to dance, then dance it is. If he wants to play, then play it is. Or, if he wants to read, write, or otherwise, then “so be it.” Children are like “sponges” and “soak up” everything around them. In other words, they are constantly learning from their environment. That is why we as parents must give them the freewill to explore and learn.

 

Meet Rachel Demas

By June 7, 2016 Blog, Featured Home, Featured Moms

 

Name: Rachel Demas

Age when you gave birth: 44

State of residence: New York

Child’s name and age: Claire, 4

Current profession: Freelance Writer/Editor

PREGNANCY

How long were you trying to get pregnant?

We tried for about a year and a half. I got pregnant fairly quickly for the first time, but had a miscarriage at 13 weeks. We followed our doctor’s advice, and took about a six month break after my miscarriage. I got pregnant a second time about two months after we started trying again, but I lost that pregnancy at five weeks. We didn’t wait following that loss, and I became pregnant with our daughter, Claire, around three months later.

What did you do or not do to increase your chances of getting pregnant after 40?

I went to a fertility specialist to make sure everything was in working order. The doctor said that I checked out fine. In fact, he practically gushed when he saw how many eggs I had on the ultrasound. He told me that he had thirty-year-old patients who would be quote “jealous” of my “egg supply”. While I was happy to hear the good news, his comment also made me really uncomfortable. I wish that he had managed to relay that information in a manner that was more matter-of-fact.

SUPPORT 

How supportive were your doctors during your pregnancy?

In general, I think the term “geriatric pregnancy” needs to go. I found that the medical community has a tendency to lead with that age-based assessment, and see you through this lens throughout your pregnancy. Specifically, though, I felt incredibly supported by the midwife, Barri Malek, who delivered our baby. The unfortunate thing was that there were four midwives in the practice, and I saw each of them during routine check-ups. I didn’t feel as supported by them, because they could be quite doom and gloom about all of the complications that can happen when you are pregnant past a certain age (none of the complications happened to my baby or me).

My husband and I were hoping that Barri would deliver our baby, because of her positive attitude. But we weren’t able to choose a specific midwife from the practice. Basically, the policy at the birthing center was that when a woman goes into labor, the midwife who is on duty that week delivers her baby.

Indeed, we hit the jackpot and went into labor when Barri was on duty. My labor went like clockwork (eight hours), but we had two complications during delivery (neither of which was likely due to my age). Claire had a shoulder dystocia, which Barri nimbly fixed with no harm to our daughter. More concerning, I had a postpartum hemorrhage, which could have been life-threatening. I lost about two liters of blood.

Barri stopped the bleeding, and I feel that I owe my life to her. Later, she told me that she attributes her expertise in postpartum hemorrhages to her time spent delivering babies in Indonesia, something I highly doubt many traditional doctors could boast.

Did you change doctors or would like to have changed doctors? Why or why not?

I was originally with an obstetrician, who referred to me as a “geriatric pregnancy” at our first appointment. I wasn’t thrilled with our rapport with her, but she seemed smart, knowledgeable and experienced. We went to her until I was eight months pregnant, when we decided to look elsewhere. It was not a decision that my husband and I took lightly, but I was committed to having a natural birth if I was able with as few interventions as possible, and we came to feel that our obstetrician would not be as amenable to this idea as we had originally thought. It was hard to be so close to the end of my pregnancy without having everything in place (or a place to go. I joked that I felt like Mary looking for a place at the inn!)

But at my eight month check-up, my husband and I asked our obstetrician if we could start talking about a birth plan. At the mere mention of the words “birth plan”, she became incredibly strident.  Before we could even get into any specifics about what we had in mind, she told us that quote “she was the captain of the ship” and that “if we didn’t like that, we could leave her practice now.” The thought bubble over my head was “I thought the baby was the captain of the ship not you”. But I didn’t see the point of getting into an argument with someone who, clearly, had ideas that were different from ours, so I said ok and left.

That day, I started looking for another place to give birth. I found a birthing center, which was farther away from our house than we had wanted. But it turned out to be the best decision we have ever made, because I was able to give birth to my daughter naturally like I had wanted.

It’s funny how situations that are extremely stressful and trying can sometimes end up being the best thing that could have ever happened to you! I have ended up feeling thankful to the obstetrician for, basically, giving us the boot from her practice! Also, I attribute my willingness to leave her practice to the wisdom of age.

As I have grown older, I have learned to trust my own instincts and to push through the fear of not knowing what was going to happen. I think that, if I had been a younger version of myself, I probably would have believed that the doctor knew best and stayed with her out of fear of making a wrong decision.

What was the reaction of friends and family when you told me about your pregnancy?

Everyone was extremely thrilled.

LABOR AND DELIVERY

What do you remember most about the birth experience?

Of course, seeing my baby for the first time was the most memorable and amazing part of giving birth. Probably every woman feels that way, but it has special meaning when you become a mom after a certain age. You aren’t given much hope that you will have a baby, so you have a tremendous sense of God’s grace in this gift. Also, when you are pregnant after a certain age, you are told that there can and probably will be complications from beginning to end. Until you see your baby for the first time, you aren’t sure whether you or your baby will be a casualty of poor statistics. So when I saw Claire, it was a moment of great joy about life’s abundance and the power of surrendering to the unknown, as well as incredible relief that we had made it safely to the end.

I’M A MOM

What concerns you most about being a mom over 35 and how do you address these concerns?

I definitely have less energy than I did when I was in my 20’s or early 30’s. I think I am a more tired mom than I would have been, if I had had my daughter earlier. I have an earlier bedtime now, so that I feel rested enough to keep up with my busy, busy daughter! I also worry about how old I will be when she is in high school and beyond. Watching her grow and learn and experience life is the greatest joy I have ever had. I, greedily, want to go on seeing her life unfold for as long as I can. I know that, at some point, I will leave this earth and leave her. Odds are that it will be much earlier than I would like. But, really, no one has guarantees, so I try to live each day without dwelling on my mortality too much. Some days it’s easier than others to do so!

What do you enjoy most about being an older mom?

I have more of a sense of self now than I did when I was younger. I feel more grounded, which allows me to let my relationship with Claire be more about what’s best for her than what I want or need. Basically, I like to think of it like a tree. I am firmly planted in the ground, yet, when the wind blows, I am flexible and can bend. When I was younger, there would have been a greater chance that I would have just plain old broke! I’m by no means a “grand old oak”, but I’m trying!

Rachel-2-jpg

 How has becoming a mom changed you?

Being a mom requires an amount of sacrifice that I’ve never experienced before having Claire. Surrendering to that kind of selflessness is both challenging and rewarding. It’s not always easy, but it’s an incredible gift about what it means to be in relationship to another human being. The “I and Thou” relationship takes on a new and powerful meaning that is extremely beautiful.

What advice do you have for women considering motherhood after 35?

Oh, don’t get me started on this question! I have so much to say about how necessary it is to ignore the bad statistics and cultural messages surrounding becoming pregnant and having a baby after a certain age. We are individuals, not statistics. Every woman is entitled to her own journey around having a baby, regardless of what other people believe or what the statistics say about her age. Indeed, I have so much to say that I will refer your readers to a post that I wrote about it on my own personal blog, because I’m too tired and busy from caring for a four year old to write it all over again here! http://taoofpoop.blogspot.com/2013/09/my-geriatric-pregnancy.html

InSeason Mom Cynthia would like to thank Rachel for sharing her story! Download my quick-read guide offering 30+ POSITIVE tips to cope while trying to conceive (after age 35) in your 40s https://gumroad.com/l/hfaIs

Meet Laurie-Conceives Naturally After 25 Years of Infertility

By May 10, 2016 Blog, Featured Home, Featured Moms

Name:  Laurie

Age:  46

State of residence:  California

Child’s name: Melissa

Current or former profession(s):  Human Resources Manager (I initially quit my job when I got married in 2011, and I got pregnant 6 weeks after marriage! )

PREGNANCY

How long were you trying to get pregnant?

Twenty-five years!  I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovary Syndrome in my early 20s. In my mid 20s and early 30s, I sought out infertility treatments. Had  one pregnancy/miscarriage and after several more years of trying I gave up. I went on with my career and built a life without children.

What did you do or not do to increase your chances of getting pregnant after 40?

About a year before getting pregnant, I was on a gluten free, sugar free, and cow dairy free diet.  The diet may have had something to do with it.  I’m not sure. The pregnancy was a BIG surprise.  No pregnancy symptoms.  Since I do not ovulate often, missed menstrual cycles were a common thing.  I was 4 ½ months along when I found out.  I grew out of my pant and thought I had gained weight suddenly.   In a three day period, I found out I was 19 weeks pregnant, heard her heartbeat, saw her picture on the sonogram, and found out she was a girl.  I was stunned!

SUPPORT

Medical Community

How supportive were your doctors during your pregnancy?

Very supportive.  The third trimester, I went to the doctor’s office twice per week so they could monitor the baby and the fluids.

Did you change doctors or would like to have changed doctors? Why or why not?

I did change doctors due to my insurance.  I ended up with a great doctor.

Family and Friends

What was the reaction of friends and family when you told me about your pregnancy?

Everyone was stunned that I was pregnant.  My family was thrilled. Melissa is the only grandchild to my parents and the only niece to my brother.

LABOR AND DELIVERY

Did you take any childbirth classes? Why or why not?

We took the Bradley method of natural child birth classes. I wanted to give Melissa the best chance of a normal birth as possible.

What do you remember most about the birth experience?

My labor and delivery was 2 and ½ hours total.   Although there was slight complications with Melissa’s heart beat dropping and everything seemed rushed, I was able to have her natural.

I AM MOMLaurie2Aphoto

What concerns you most about being a mom over 35 and how do you address these concerns?

I don’t really have any concerns. I’m just glad I had a healthy baby.  Everyone is very supportive.

What do you enjoy most about being an older mom?

Being an older mom has its advantages.  I am much more patient and calmer than in my earlier years.  I enjoy watching Melissa grow and learn.  It’s a miracle.

How has becoming a mom changed you?

I had a hard time adjusting from a working woman to a stay at home mom.  Most of my change has been to focus on Melissa and her needs, instead of my own.  I think when you are a young mom your kids grow up with you. When you are older and established, you have to make some concessions and changes to accommodate the new love in your life.  A welcome change at that.  The saying, “old people are set in their ways” is not true not when you have a baby. You have to learn new ways and adjust.

What advice do you have for women considering motherhood after 35?

Don’t worry about your age.  Its just a number.  There are lots of older women who are having children.  I thought it would be harder, but every day is better than the last.

InSeason Mom Cynthia would like to thank Laurie for sharing your story! Had your first baby after 35 or 40? Share your story as a Featured Mom. Email: inseasonmom(at)gmail.com for details       InSeason Mom is now offering live emotional support !