Name: Tina Marie
Age when you gave birth: 42 and 44
State of residence: Arizona
Children: Braylon, age 2 and Bryce- 3 months (Tina was pregnant with Bryce at the time of this interview.)
Current or former profession(s): Actress, Events Manager, Nerium Consultant, Stay- At- Home Mommy
How long were you trying to get pregnant?
We weren’t trying either time. We were just enjoying life! We did not do any planning other than having a desire of our hearts.
How supportive were your doctors during your pregnancy?
My doctor was very supportive, made me feel more comfortable and gave me hope when I was scared. This second time, I was shocked when I found out I was pregnant. I think the lady (doctor) seemed shocked as well!
What did you do to increase your chances of becoming pregnant a second time?
I never worked on increasing my chances except for prayer and taking prenatal pills after the first baby was born, while breastfeeding him.
Did you change doctors or would like to have changed doctors?
No, I kept the same one. I considered changing because my doctor was a part of a team and based on the day you deliver, my doctor may not have been available. The thought to switch occurred to me –a few times– just because I heard about another lady (doctor) who was so loving and I like that connection. Other than that, my doctor wanted me to have another baby right away. I laughed!
FAMILY AND FRIENDS
What was the reaction of friends and family when you told them about your first and current pregnancy?
Everyone was elated and some shocked. I recently shared on Facebook how I was overwhelmed by all the love and support from both near and far. My husband was definitely surprised and took some time to digest having another baby. I shared the news by giving him an empty can of Prego sauce with our names, Reg and Tina, on the outside of the can. Inside of the can was the picture of my 8 weeks ultrasound!
LABOR AND DELIVERY
What do you remember most about the birth experience?
With my first birth experience, I remember going shopping in Target. My hubby was in car. I needed to use the restroom because of a surprised mucous plug breaking. I thought something was wrong. I called the doctor. Then, we (hubby and I) went on about our day with some relief. I fit in shopping at Sephora and a Pregnancy Photo Shoot!
My check-up was scheduled for the following morning. I was going to have to be induced or I needed to be dilated. I started crying and we went straight to the hospital. The rest is history except towards the end when I was challenged to start pushing. We prayed and the doctor advised me that “this next push had to be like an Olympic runner or we would have do alternative,” meaning a C- section.
I said to my husband and sisters, “Cheer me on guys!” My doctor said okay and brought the forceps team in. I was finished after that big strong push!
With my second birth experience, my doula was with my hubby Reggie and me. I believe having a doula made the experience even more joyful because Reggie was able to focus with me. My doula took pictures (of the birth). She did things that I wasn’t able to do and see things I would not remember. Reggie and my doula made my experience truly surreal and amazing.
I was checked in the hospital a week later (than my due date). I was in active labor for about 1 hour and 15 minutes. I was started on Pitocin when I was at 4 cm. We had worship music playing. We prayed as a team. My doula’s direction was so encouraging. The big surprise was when my contractions grew closer and closer, my doula told the nurse, without my knowing, that the doctor needed to come in. She told the nurse, “I do not want to have to deliver this baby.”
Even though the epidural was requested, the anesthesiologist was on his way but there was no turning back. I was unable to stop pushing. Our baby was ready. I kept saying “where is the epidural.”
They said, “It’s showtime! He is coming out!” At 12:54 PM, I gave a half a dozen pushes and our Lil Angel came out healthy and natural. Au natural! I couldn’t believe it! There was no way I thought I could endure this pain, but God knew.
We were blessed with a baby boy named Bryce, weighing 7.10 pounds and 21 inches. For this I am truly grateful!
We stayed in the hospital a couple of days to recuperate and enjoy time alone before returning home. Hubby and big brother Braylon even stayed which made it one big slumber party and celebration of our 2nd little prince!
I AM MOM
What concerns you most about being a mom over 35 and how do you address this concern?
The most that concerns me is being there to support my children later in their years. I believe it’s important to take care of myself and stay in shape. I want to live long with a youthful and healthy body, mind, and soul for my children. Anything is possible just depends on how you feel!
What do you enjoy most about being an older mom?
I enjoy having more quality time to give my sons and living in a season where I am more mature. The quality time I have and the desire to raise another person is awesome.
How has becoming a mom changed you?
I definitely have a new compassion for children. Because of the responsibility God has given me to raise strong children with a passion for life, I am less selfish and I give unconditional love to my children that I can see grow up in His likeness. I am more settled and desire to play more,too.
What advice do you have for women considering motherhood after 35?
Be available, stay healthy, and have a heart of compassion to live life to the fullest. We are as old as we feel! Don’t act your age in all ways, only use wisdom with a youthful attitude. Be present and communicate your needs clearly.
Never give up! Life is precious. Eat well, pray, have a support group, and get involved with other like- minded moms. Never give up because life is precious as gold and silver.
InSeason Mom Cynthia would like to thank Tina Marie for encouraging other women by sharing her story. (Download my quick-read guide offering 30+ POSITIVE tips to cope while trying to conceive (after age 35) in your 40s https://gumroad.com/l/hfaIs )